Freaks and Drinks Episode VIII: Girlfriends and Boyfriends

Or:

“Freak Girls Go All the Way”

This is Freaks and Drinks: the one and only article on the internet dedicated to bringing you a new drinking game for every episode of Freaks and Geeks. In this episode, the rubber hits the road on Nick and Lindsay’s awkward relationship and Sam learns the meaning of the friend zone.

There has never been a more parallel set of story lines involving the Weir sibs. Both of their plots deal with the exact same themes and tropes. It seems like the more similar their experiences are, the more likely they are to come together by the end. This episode is an example of harmony in storytelling where the object is to show two different perspectives, one male and one female.

I do have one point of contention: what the hell is going on with the adults? First Mr. Rosso tells Lindsay he has herpes and then Mrs. Weir encourages Mr. Weir to tell Lindsay a story about losing his virginity to a Korean hooker? This is so weird.  The adults and the teenagers used to interact in such a believable way, but in this episodes these interaction skip briskly from relatable to the land of hyperbole. Why do this? To make the audience feel as awkward about sex as Lindsay? That seems highly unnecessary and shows a lack of faith in the writing and Linda Cardellini’s ability to translate emotion. She is amazing, so I tend not to think this is the case.

It’s really hard to include parental figures in a story line about teen dating and sex in a meaningful way. When they aren’t just making it awkward there is an absolute inability for parents and teenagers to recognize each other as sexual beings. Just typing that last sentence made me want to go wash my hands. There is something off-putting about the way that Mrs. Weir blurting out that Lindsay has a boyfriend changes the atmosphere of the family dinner.  Look, I’m speaking to the majority of you who had their first sexual experience in High School. For many of you, it was the first aspect of your life that your parents had absolutely no part of. Even those of you with super cool parents you could talk to about anything. It’s hard to wrap your head around it at the time, but it is the beginning of your life as an adult. It’s part of the reason parents have such a hard time dealing with the idea that their kids are sexually active, because it sorta means they aren’t kids anymore.

So, now that I’ve made everyone feel super weird, here are some rules to get drunk with:

• Drink whenever Lindsay makes an awkward face around Nick.
• Drink whenever Millie is on Camera.
• Deal two drinks if you are the first to throw your hands in the air whenever Gordan Crisp is on the screen.
• Sing along with Nick. Or Drink.
• Drink whenever, “The Muppet Show” or “Welcome Back, Kotter” is referenced.
• Drink whenever Bill and Cindy are together.

 

Series Long Rules

• Drink whenever Mr. Weir tells a story that is meant to be a cautionary tale. Drink two if someone dies.
• Drink when the family is sitting down to dinner.
• Drink whenever Sam and Cindy are in the same scene together.
• Drink whenever Kim Kelly is being a bitch.