Flickchart’s Greatest Battles

 In which we pit two movies together using flickchart.com, debating their merits or lack thereof.

ROUND ONE

GIRL, INTERRUPTED

VS

KING KONG (2005)

Both of these movies might as well be called Kung Fu Pandering. In one corner, we have King Kong, the only other Peter Jackson movie the world had seen, aside from his little Lord of the Rings thing. Designed to be a highlight reel for a special effects house, King Kong refuses to let you pause and realize how stupid everything is by throwing every sort of monster into your face at all times. If you were of the right age and the right gender when it was released, you probably love it. Everyone else, however, thinks you’re a moron. In the other corner we have Girl, Interrupted. G,I was based on a book that all girls loved, starring actresses that all girls loved, going through things that all girls love to watch other girls go through. It’s hacky cheese, dressed up as moving drama, but if you were of the right age and gender when it was released, you probably love it. In the end, King Kong barely wins out, for reasons other than the fact that I’m a boy, although I can’t think of them right now. – RH

WINNER: KING KONG

ROUND TWO

THE LAND BEFORE TIME (1988)

VS

THERE WILL BE BLOOD (2007)

My favorite movie of 1988 versus my favorite movie of 2007, how to choose? Both have four words in the title, a bold move on the part of both films so that’s a wash. The Land Before Time is about children banding together to find their parents while There Will Be Blood is about a parent who abandons his child so obviously LB4T wins there. LB4T has a frightening T. Rex while TWBB has a frighteningly energetic pastor so that one also goes to LB4T. It’s possible the dinosaurs that starred in LB4T became the oil that stars in TWBB. I’m not sure who comes out on top in that one. I guess the oil since it’s, you know, useful. I’m a hopeless Daniel Day Lewis fan so that’s gonna give TWBB some points. Also, Ducky was annoying as hell. TWBB also wins in the “Movie I Would Rather Watch Right Now” category.

I guess that’s really what it’s all about, which I would rather watch right now. -SB

WINNER: There Will Be Blood