SUMMER TX EXTRAVAGANZA

SIBERIA

**1/2 (out of ****)

In the interest of full disclosure (a phrase I use in the beginning of many reviews), I’m not at all a fan of reality television. What started as a simple protest, in order to do my part in making sure that TV actors and writers kept their jobs, quickly became a distaste for all things even remotely connected to this genre, which comes in pretty handy when you watch as much television as I do. It’s pretty nice to just sever ties with half of what’s on TV. I understand that real life is stranger than fiction, but reality shows are fiction that is worse than fiction, with most shows using a storytelling device that removes all reality, but allows itself to deliver shocking twists and turns with no development or nuance. It’s like someone telling you they have invented the greatest tasting cotton candy. It’s still cotton candy. It’s still fluff that takes moments to consume, and is forgotten in even less time than that. Siberia marks the first time that I have ever reviewed a reality show for the website, and it certainly didn’t change my mind about reality television. But it’s a fake reality show, so it shouldn’t have to. But in a way it did. Alright, let’s take this step by step.

16 contestants get dropped off in the middle of nowhere. With nothing but the clothes on their back, and the supplies the showrunners will be providing them, the 16 people will have to survive in the wilderness. It’s like Survivor, but instead of having a process where contestants vote each other off, it is strictly last man standing. For the first two-thirds of the show, there is nothing that distinguishes this show from the thousands of other reality-competition shows that you have seen. And that’s all on purpose. If this is a real fake reality fake show, then it has to look exactly like all of the other reality shows. It does, to a fault. We are told the rules of the game, which are all cliché and dumb, and we meet all of the contestants, which are all cliché and dumb. This is where it gets confusing when you’re trying to figure out if Siberia is a good show or not. It’s great at sucking as much as it’s supposed to. Weird. Luckily, we have the final third of the show, in which we all realize that this reality show is obviously scripted, as opposed to trying to conceal it.

It’s late at night, and the contestants, in a moment of bonding, hear some spooky sounds. They freak out a little bit, but then turn in. The next day, one of the cameramen wanders in, face bloodied. He soon dies. If you’ve seen enough reality, you know that death is a big deal, and shows that have had death in them are usually just canceled. Death is certainly not discussed as frankly as it is here.  Coming to this conclusion and watching it unravel is pretty interesting — certainly more interesting than anything else that has happened previously. But you can only do it once. That one time has happened. Now where do you go?

This is what makes Siberia so hard to recommend. I could see myself telling someone to watch this, but only if I knew that they had never heard a single thing about it. If they had, it makes the first two thirds of the episode pointless and unbearable. I complemented Kroll Show because it mined a lot of laughs from how closely it mocked reality shows, sometimes to the point you couldn’t tell the difference if you were just flipping through channels. But Kroll Show was always satirizing. Siberia is just copying, and they’re good at it, but that doesn’t make it entertaining. On the flip side, if you’re a reality fan, maybe you’ll like the first two-thirds, but then be disappointed when you find out that it’s not the same boring bullshit garbage that you like. For a show that is ultimately going to garner a mediocre review, I’m interested in the next couple of episodes. Now that the reveal has happened, those will tell us how this is going to be a show. Is this still trying to ride off the popularity of reality? Is this going to be a Lost knock-off, but shot differently. Or can Siberia tell a scary story, while being a subtle commentary on reality? Probably not that last one, but hey: Breaking Bad is coming back in August.

-Ryan Haley