Actors Who ARE Their Characters

Mayim Bialik/ Amy Farrah Fowler

As the only legitimate nerd on the Big Bang Theory, I’m convinced the part was written specifically for this former child star. A full two years before neurobiologist Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler met Dr. Sheldon Cooper and became television’s most awkwardly endearing, non-sexual couple, she was discussed as a possible teammate for the gang’s Physics Bowl Team when Raj says “You know who’s apparently very smart, is the girl who played TV’s Blossom. She got a Ph.D. in Neuroscience or something.” And girlfriend does, a fact she gets to throw in the face of any unprepared reporter she wants like the one above at the SAG awards: Not only do Mayim and Amy have the same degree, but the actress’s preferences actually dictate the character’s fashion sense. While Amy’s penchant for grandma sweaters and ankle length skirts are never explained past frumpy nerd wear, in reality Mayim’s conservative Jewish lifestyle mandates long sleeves and skirts below the knee. But apparently has no problem with on-air spanking.

Nick Offerman/Ron Swanson

Though he has implicitly said “I’m not the ultimate male that Ron Swanson is” we all know that’s just a feint to protect his rabidly defended privacy. But there’s just too much evidence to support the theory that Ron Swanson and Nick Offerman are one in the same, I mean the man wrote the guide book to being manly and woodsy. He owns a wood shop in Los Angeles where they take their time building all sorts of things tables and benches the old fashioned, noble way.  So that means every time Ron proves he’s the most awesome person on Parks and Recreation by building his own table or fixing something, it’s really Nick. He’s not miming like some pansy ass actor, he is building with his hands like a Man. Same thing goes for the crazy sex scenes with ex-wife Tammy II played by real-life wife Megan Mullaly. When they destroy everything around them with the ferocity of their lovemaking, that shit is REAL, like Eyes Wide Shut real. We’re getting a glimpse into the glorious sex life of Hollywood’s most hilarious couple and it’s intense. Now all we need to do is catch him, on tape actually rocking out on the sax a la Duke Silver and he won’t be able to deny his true identity anymore.

Emma Watson/Hermione Granger

 

 Sure she’s not legit magic, but Emma’s story is elsewise eerily similar to that of her alter ego Hermione Granger. She was a normal (dare I say Muggle) child born into mediocrity but thrust into a glittering and fantastical new world as a child.  A world of fame and fortune so far removed from what the rest of society experiences that turns most impressionable youths vapid and vain but not practical Emma. When asked in an early interview how she planned to spend her first massive movie star paycheck, the 11-year-old sounded completely in character when famously declaring she was “going to stick it in the bank until I’m 21.”  She’s passionate about education, citing her upbringing in a household where pencils and notebooks were treasured Christmas gifts, and has continued to take time off from acting to pursue education at Brown and Oxford. Emma’s comparable values come into play when speaking about the power of being a role model and what Hermione stands for and means to a generation of little girls. “Hermione is so close to who I am as a person that I’ve never really had to research a role. I’m literally rediscovering what it means to be an actress.”

John Barrowman/Captain Jack Harkness

 

 As the morally ambivalent, bi-sexual, rogue Time Agent, Captain Jack is always ready to flirt with and jump into bed with anything with a pulse…regardless of the gender, species or temporal position. On this plane of existence, the always dashing and mischievous John Barrowman has become the king of ComiCon, his panel appearances laced with enough public groping and wildly raunchy tales of Gay Hollywood to charm the pants off of every fan, compatible sexuality notwithstanding.  Half the fun of a Barrowman appearance is the fact that practically one in three fans who gets up to the microphone to ask a question is likely to get kissed or boob honked. John became Jack and then John again at the 2009 ComiCon when his excitement over the spontaneous kiss with The Doctor himself gave him the most epic fangirl nerdgasm of all time…and immediately became the topic of roughly one million new fan fictions. 

Mindy Kaling/Mind Lahiri

 

Possibly an unfair addition to the list seeing as how she writes the damn show, which maybe requires me to include all comedians with their own shows like Louie CK or Jerry Seinfeld. But it’s really her personal essays and Twitter feed that prove that Mindy is the same celebrity-obsessed and wickedly smart klutz she plays on TV. Equal parts confident and self-deprecating, glamorous and desperate, in every incarnation Mindy is the brutally honest best-friend you wish you had. Further Twitter stalking has provided definitive evidence that she and B.J. Novak have the same super intense friendship and on-again off-again thing they wrote for themselves to act out back on The Office. Just seems like the kind of high drama, narcissistic thing Ryan and Kelly would do…

Marilyn Monroe

 

The most successful product of the Golden Age studio system, little Norma Jean was plucked, dyed and surgically altered into the epitome of American sexuality. And thus Marilyn Monroe was born, renamed so the alliteration of the letter M subconsciously mimics a moan. Every aspect of her persona was carefully cultivated to project an aura of sex, from her breathy voice to the butt wiggling walk created by shaving each and every left heel just 1/3 of an inch to produce a sexy, uneven gait. But the most important alteration was Marilyn herself, she could only play the silver screen goddess who has held strong to her place in pop culture for 50 years by becoming her inside and out. So as her characters walked the line of innocence and innuendo so did she. And as she fell I and out of love onscreen, so did she off screen marrying and divorcing 3 times.  She played the flirty blonde who could rely on her charm to get away with anything, then proceeded to star in the only Presidential sex scandal the American public finds delicious rather than demoralizing.

David Duchovny/Hank Moody

 

Honestly I think in this case David Duchovny was offered the role of a sex addict and realized that was a great fake thing to say he had and thus explain away any and all despicable behavior in his real life. So Californication is about a sex addict who can’t control where his deranged penis takes him? Psh what a coincidence! So is the case for the big Hollywood actor hired to play him! Maybe Duchovny saw something of himself in this Ivy League writer, considering his background as a Princeton grad with secret book “in a drawer somewhere.”  He’s even quoted as saying that acting Hank Moody is “a wish-fulfillment fantasy.”  So with zero first-hand information or authority in this matter, I call bullshit on Duchovny actually being addled with sex addiction. The man saw his chance and he took it… which actually is a pretty low and thus very Moody-like stunt to pull.

Robert Downey Jr./Tony Stark

 

One of these men is responsible for one of my all-time favorite quotes — “Listen, smile, agree. And then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway.” Now quick guess who said it, Robert or Tony? Incidentally it’s a real life quote from the man himself, but it would not be at all out of place in a Marvel movie. Because though Robert Downey Jr. will probably never develop Tony Stark’s scientific or engineering skills, they’re essentially the same person oozing the same rebellious charisma. That special blend of anti-authority swagger and tortured genius that makes the public clamor to forgive any and all alcoholic hijinks of these charmingly flawed scoundrels.  Such confidence is completely valid given Downey’s amazing real-life secret power of ever-increasing attractiveness with age. The line between actor and character is so blurred here that sometimes Tony comes out in the middle of a Hollywood Reporter interview, and sometimes Robert’s personal eating habits make it into the middle of The Avengers. He hid food all over the set for continual snacking, so in the lab when Stark offers Bruce Banner a blueberry and Bruce looks kind of amused but takes it? That was a totally unscripted moment of friend sharing snacks and a totally Tony Downey Stark Jr. move.

Jeff Bridges/The Dude

He’s been the President, an alien, a rock star and more than one cowboy. But the role Jeff Bridges is best known for, the one he constantly quotes himself in interviews and he one he’s admitted to being most connected to is, of course, The Dude.  Much like the Dude, Bridges is a laidback guy who can rock a ponytail and sandals combo that would make most men look homeless. His speech is peppered with liberal usage of California anachronisms “man” and “trip” and he’d much rather just hang out than…do stuff. He’s known for being a reluctant participant, averse to making commitments and protective of his leisure time. Still the most important reason Bridges continually being compared to his defining character after 16 years and countless award winning roles is the fact that he can’t refrain from quoting The Dude himself at least once per interview. Jeff is the Dude, and the Dude abides.

James Dean

 

 A troubled youth too beautiful and desperate to live for long, James Dean was the living embodiment of his iconic teen rebel role in Rebel Without a Cause. He had a traumatic childhood in which he lost both parents and was a victim of sexual abuse, making a rebellious and brooding young adult. An avid drag racer Dean was banned by the movie studio from racing during filming as a safety precaution, but true legends can’t be restrained. On September 20, 1955 while driving his Porsche Speedster down the highway he tried to get around another car using a “side stepping” racing move, lost control and both cars hit head on.   Dean’s sensational car crash death seemed so perfectly scripted to be part of his persona it had to be either the most daring and committed publicity stunt of all time or the karmic ending to a fame-making deal made with the Devil.  – AS