Round 1

MULANEY

VS

SURVIVOR’S REMORSE

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The entire nation remember’s Seinfeld much more fondly than they do Entourage. They also think that stand-up comedian John Mulaney is much funnier than LeBron James. That makes this competition totally lop-sided in Mulaney‘s favor, right? Obviously not. You need to learn how to not get duped by an intro.

Survivor’s Remorse isn’t perfect, and in the second episode, we’ll get a chance to see which of the holes are really there, and which of the holes are because of pilotitis. But with Mulaney, it’s impossible to care about which problems will eventually be fixed. There are so many holes that fixing a few of them will just make the show look worse, somehow. At the very least, the second episode won’t have to introduce us to this endless parade of uninteresting characters, something the pilot struggles to do. But we’ll still have to spend some time with them all, right? I mean, even just a minute or two? And the only respite from all of this mediocrity, Mulaney himself, is just standing there waiting to do one of his stand-up acts that has been very smoothly re-purposed into conversational dialogue. Just when you think that a turd on fire could not be lit on more fire, Zack Pearlman knocks on the door. I think I hate Zack Pearlman.

I’m sure Pearlman is a very nice guy in real life. And I haven’t even seen that much of his work, so my hatred isn’t so much for him. It’s for what he, and many actors that look just like him, represent. Far too often, when shows feel like their cast is devoid of chemistry, or when all of the actors just aren’t “wacky” enough, they will cast someone who usually has a beard, is usually fat, and is usually a ginger. They come in, say some vulgar things, and – for some reason – everyone in the cast puts up with them constantly in their lives. Andre, the character played by Pearlman, could almost be seen as the postmordern version of this stereotype, if the writers of Mulaney had anything to say. Instead, we just get the most poorly conceived character in a long line of poorly conceived characters. He’s called their drug dealer, but he never deals any drugs. They say they can’t stand him, but they still let him hang out. They say he’s the worst, but he never does anything or says anything to show us how or why. Andre represents a lot of what’s going on in Mulaney. If you were to ask the creators why any single part or aspect of the show is in there, they’d respond with “Duh I don’t know, because other shows have it in there?” Andre sucks, Mulaney sucks, and Survivor’s Remorse gets a second chance to work out its wonkiness. More about that next week.

–  Ryan Haley

TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR THE FIRST BATTLE OF ROUND 3:

TIM AND ERIC’S BEDTIME STORIES VS GOTHAM!!!