Round 1

UNCLE

VS

CONSTANTINE

See the bracket here!!!

Throughout this New Fall TV Tournament, we’ve talked a lot about pilots having to prove to you that you’ve seen (and liked) things like them before, and then – within the same episode – prove to you how they are different, and hopefully better, than those previous things. That’s a lot to do in one episode. It’s easy for most mediocre shows to get through the first round of the tournament, thanks to the amount of crap that has been launched at us, but when two decent-ish shows go to battle, it can come down to the one who proves that they are the most different, while showing us that it’s the same.

Uncle is about a slob who suddenly gains a role in a child’s life. Constantine is a supernatural procedural based on a comic book. We need these premises about as much as we do a new Saw movie. If the only TV you watched were shows that had one of these premises, you’re viewing schedule would already be full, and these shows would still be unnecessary.

The number one thing that Constantine has over other shows of its ilk is John Constantine. There are ways to break Constantine down (a curmudgeonly loner who sarcastically comments his way through feelings while still being necessary in people’s lives because of his gift) where he still doesn’t seem all that original. He’s the Dr. House of the dark arts. But there’s a certain charm written into the character’s DNA, and if NBC can capture half of that, it’s a reason to tune in. From the pilot, it looks like they almost have. And there are a couple of scares here, as Constantine seems to be taking a page out of Sleepy Hollow’s book, where if you keep things moving fast enough, and throw every type of horror at the wall, no one will notice how dumb everything is. The problem is that the show, and the character, have been neutered. It makes sense; comic book properties are hot, and their audiences are much larger than say Hannibal, the show that should be Constantine’s spiritual guide. So instead of getting a dickhead smart-assing his way through some truly horrible shit, we get a mostly likeable guy who runs in after a bunch of extras have been scared to death. And that, in the end, is just not enough to separate it from all of the other shows with the same premise.
Uncle just barely clears that same bar. It’s odd, and fucked up, and funny in ways that make shows like About a Boy seem even more innocuous. Uncle also has a subplot involving the kid pretending to be the slob’s son in order to get a girl, but this is where the two shows separate, as About a Boy is content going through the motions from that point, whereas this is when Uncle finds the main character getting the shit kicked out of him by a drag queen, only to find out that his subconscious is a music video based around a song about his ex-girlfriend. Sure, it tries to do a little too much, but it’s a pilot, and having more ambition than Constantine is just enough to get you to Round 2.

– Ryan Haley

TOMORROW:

THE AFFAIR OR SURVIVOR’S REMORSE MOVES ON TO THE FINAL FOUR!!!