Life is based on a strict system of punishment and reward. I don’t care about the punishment part because bad things don’t happen to me, but I expect to be rewarded, dammit. You pay for food, you get to eat it. You date an ugly girl, you get to do butt stuff. You watch Lost, they explain what the fuck is happening at some point. We put our time in, Lost. And instead of explaining yourself you just went fucking crazy. The problem with Mystery shows is that you end up needing a new one every episode to keep people on the edge of their seats. You can’t sustain good writing under those conditions for much longer than about two or three seasons, so why did you get greedy, Lost? Now you’ve got six seasons worth of stupid throw away surprises that will never be answered because even you forgot about them. “There’s a new twist every week,” changed so quickly from being the best thing about the show to the absolute worst. Its like laughing at a joke your kid tells you, only to be horrified with the realization that you will now have to listen to that same child tell that same joke 20 times a day until he turns 16 and you can kick him out. Way to be that kid, Lost.-DT

RENO 911!

I fucking hate cop shows. I fucking hate low brow slap stick comedy. Mockumentaries are really my least favorite storytelling form! Reno 911 encompasses all of those hates! Stupidity is really hard to watch, and it makes it even harder when law enforcement is put in an even further negative light with complete idiots running a Nevada agency. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that the premise of the whole show is a satire on COPS- but isn’t that show already a satire enough on law enforcement?! Reno 911! makes their jokes outrageously excessive and complete unnecessary! Also, men in short shorts are an overused foundation for jokes!

Reno ran for six seasons and has a movie, but the only reason why I know about this show is because college buddies would always be down to watch it. Mostly the stoner households would put this show on whilst rolling a blunt and shooting the shit. It was really irritating when said stoners would laugh at the jokes and then reenact exactly what just happened on screen- doubly unfunny! Even re-watching the select clips on Reno’s website was painful. Easy jokes aren’t funny, crappy animation for offensive PSA announcements are stupid, and cops that flip flop on their positions instantaneously are horrific.

Thanks but no thanks, Reno 911! I’d rather not waste my time watching stupid mockumentary cop shows!-MV