FALL TV EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

GRIMM

** (out of ****)

I was excited about Grimm, just like I was excited about American Horror Story and Terra Nova.  Even though I was probably too hard on AHS, I haven’t wanted to give any of these low ratings.  Unfortunately I have to because Grimm was kind of a mess.  It almost felt like this episode was aired out of order Firefly style, just because the characters are so completely dropped in your lap.  The story of the episode was 90% boring shit.  It had a mildly interesting twist at the end, but overall it managed to make a crime involving a werewolf remarkably paint by the numbers.  My take on Grimm is that like the other two premiers I reviewed the pilot was bad, but not so terrible that the show is necessarily doomed.  That said I have even less hope for Grimm because unlike the other two there’s almost nothing to build on.  The fact is that Grimm’s Fairytales make this show different and unique the way that Miami makes CSI: Miami unique.  Based on the format of the pilot there’s some arcing stories they’ll be following but overall the biggest difference is that they’ll be trying to track down werewolf semen instead of the regular kind.  If that doesn’t sound exciting to you, congratulations on not being a weirdo, but if CSI: Enchanted Forest is your thing give this show a shot I guess.

-Daniel Tompkins

*1/2 (out of ****)

Depending on how firmly you believe Grimm’s tongue is placed into its cheek, you may find it to be an awful drama that is always bordering on laughably bad, or a hilarious comedy with no jokes or comedy. Ever way it’s tough to get through. Simultaneously trying to appeal to horror fans, procedural fans, and those chicks who like monsters and shit, Grimm eventually ends up being impressive only to blind, mute children and dead animals. David Guintoli plays Nick Burckhardt, a detective who, throughout the course of the pilot, slowly learns he is a Grimm. What that means remains stupidly unclear. We know he can see through the human disguises that monsters will give themselves. We know his aunt was also a famous Grimm, even though she’s a bald lady. And we know that every week, the only thing that stands between us and a monster committing one crime is Burckhardt, and he only has 44 minutes to do it in. Other powers Burckhardt has include removing all chemistry with anyone he is around, no matter how long he’s known them, and luck, which is nice when the episode is almost over and he hasn’t yet solved the case. True fans of each of the genres I previously mentioned most likely won’t get enough to keep them interested, but blind, mute children will be clumsily playing with their Grimm action figures for years to come.

-Ryan Haley