WINTER TV EXTRAVAGANZA

 

ROB

*1/2 (OUT OF ****)

It occurred to me during the first few minutes of Rob that Rob Schneider doesn’t really have a schtick to call his own. His characters from SNL, and the films where he was the lead, he was typically an outcast or nerd, and usually a perverted one at that. But he didn’t have a go-to personality that most of his SNL colleagues that went on to star in movies. Spade, Sandler, Rock, Ferrell, Wiig, Farley, etc. all had something, almost a permanent character, to go back to when their character wasn’t out there, or, when they were, it was there starting point. All of this is yet another reason why it’s baffling that Rob Schneider ever starred in anything at all. Rob fixes this problem immediately by explaining that Rob has OCD. Now he’s a three-dimensional character, and in a way that we have never seen before. Let the hilariousness begin!

Rob, as Rob in Rob, married a hot Mexican chick. Now they have to tell her Mexican family. Her family immediately hates Rob. Some say it is because he is short. Some say it’s because he won’t loan them money. But we all know the real reason. They’re racist, and they hate him because he is white. They will sometimes re-word their racism so it sounds like concern for their daughter and her mixed race marriage. The fact is, though, that they’re Mexican and, as we now know from Rob, their hate comes from an dark, inbred place buried deep within the empty spaces where they’re supposed to have souls. The rest of the episode is full of the hackiest, whackiest antics that can only be found in every sitcom since the beginning of time, including figuring out a way to have Rob, pants down, bend his grandmother-in-law over his bed as if he was butt-fucking her. Sound funny? You’re an idiot. – RH