Posts by Daniel Tompkins

Weekend Muvie Revue The Campaign The first, most base goal of any genre is escapism.  They can rise above it or even cut it out entirely but they all start there.  Before you get Dune, you get Captain Strong Fucks Aliens All Day.  Before you get Dr Strangelove you get Nerdy Kid Becomes Popular and the…

Weekend Muvie Revue The Dark Knight Rises When I listen to music, I pretty much just look for emotion.  I don’t really care how on-key the vocals are or melodic the tune is as long as there’s a bare minimum of listenability and beyond that all I want is to make my cold, dead heart…

Weekend Muvie Revue The Amazing Spider-Man Movies are kind of like stories.  Now bear with me on this – you’re probably confused, but it’ll all make sense in a minute.  They’re like stories because people tell the same stories over and over again.  They tell them for their new friends, they retell them for old…

Weekend Muvie Revue Ted Ted is the kind of movie people get excited about without quite knowing why.  People who hate Family Guy find themselves thinking that maybe this is the change of pace MacFarlane needs to get back on his game.  People who love Family Guy start to think that, but have the short-term…

Weekend Muvie Revue Prometheus There was a time when the Clone Wars was the coolest thing ever.  It lasted 22 years (1977-1999) and it was amazing.  That’s because before 1999 the Clone Wars wasn’t one movie in a series of shitty prequels, it was a single line in a great movie.  And because it was…

Weekend Muvie Revue The Dictator Sacha Baron Cohen is a man who has put himself in a box and set that box in a very deep hole. Now he has to dig himself out, or at least poke a few breathin’ holes in there.  The Dictator is his attempt at answering the question “What do you…

Weekend Muvie Revue The Avengers The Avengers has always been a batshit insane goal.  It’s part of Marvel’s attempt to copy and paste their entire comic book universe into the world of movies.  They’ve gone about it the same way as well.  Iron Man isn’t Jon Favreau’s series.  He won’t be directing the third one. …

Weekend Muvie Revue The Cabin in the Woods Fear has been scientifically proven to make you horny.  That’s why horror movies are still around, despite being the absolute worst.  Now that we’ve solved that riddle it’s still worth mentioning that they don’t have to be terrible.  All you have to do is treat them like…

Weekend Muvie Revue American Reunion Let me start today by asking a question.  What is comedy?  Now let’s ignore that question ‘cuz it’s stupid and talk about American Reunion. The great thing about life is that all good things must come to an end, but then they can totally start again much later.  They probably…