Bottom Feeders: Jimmy Fallon was in a movie with Queen Latifah, once.

This week on Bottom Feeders, we’re back on track with reviews of actual movies.  Last time I mentioned the awesome book Writing Movies for Fun and Profit.  If you like movies, books or being entertained, go ahead and read it.  One of my favorite things about the authors is that they have no problem pointing…

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Bottom Feeders: Everyone Sits On My Lap

Welcome to a very special bottom feeders.  It’s very special because this week I don’t review a shitty movie and tell you about it – I talk to you about all the shitty movies I’ve seen and what I’ve learned from them.  So roll up your sleeves, pull up a chair and sit backwards in it.…

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FALL TV EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

FALL TV EXTRAVAGANZA!!! ALLEN GREGORY *** (out of ****) I’ve seen a lot of stars make risky career decisions post-fame: Keanu Reeves quitting being awesome to try acting, Nic Cage quitting acting to try being awesome or Keanu Reeves starting Becky.  Of course, those are just the best examples – it rarely works out so…

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Bottom Feeders: Halloween Special

Today is a special bonus edition of Bottom Feeders.  Because it’s Halloween I’m going to review my second ever thriller and also because it’s halloween I have posted below a video of the song ‘The Monster Mash’ set to a bunch of clips from old horror movies. There.  That’s about all the Halloween you’re getting…

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NEW FALL TV EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

FALL TV EXTRAVAGANZA!!! GRIMM ** (out of ****) I was excited about Grimm, just like I was excited about American Horror Story and Terra Nova.  Even though I was probably too hard on AHS, I haven’t wanted to give any of these low ratings.  Unfortunately I have to because Grimm was kind of a mess.…

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Bottom Feeders: Runningball

I once met someone who told me he loved any movie where a big strong guy has to babysit a kid, that it just cracked him up.  If you ever wonder why bad movies keep getting made it’s because people like that actually exist.  For every ten or so of us that like good movies,…

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Bottom Feeders: Norbit

There was a time when Eddie Murphy was a legitimately funny actor…I think.  Honestly, I haven’t seen a lot of his ‘classic’ movies.  Maybe that’s sad in a way, like someone whose closest experience to Led Zeppelin was hearing “Radioactive,” or maybe I’ve dodged a bullet.  My point is that The Firm was a really…

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FALL TV EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

FALL TV EXTRAVAGANZA!!!   AMERICAN HORROR STORY *1/2 (out of ****) American Horror Story is the pet project of the guys who brought you Nip/Tuck and Glee.  Starring Not Clive Owen and A Girl, AHS attempts to bring horror to the little screen.  A noble task, because if you asked me what the worst format…

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FALL TV EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

FALL TV EXTRAVAGANZA!!!   TERRA NOVA     ** (out of ****) Fox has a history of giving unique TV shows a chance, and then pulling the plug way too soon.  When they finally committed to Terra Nova, they committed balls deep.  Instead of ordering a pilot, they poney-ed up for an entire 13 episode…

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Bottom Feeders: It’s Pat: The Movie.

Saturday Night Live has been around long enough to be a Grandparent if it was really slutty and didn’t teach its kids any better.  Its cultural impact cannot be measured except in Gillettes, which are also used to estimate the power of lasers.  That’s how fucking serious Saturday Night Live is about being important.  Anything…

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