Posts by Daniel Tompkins
Bottom Feeders: The Twilight Ultimatum
Waiting in line for Abduction was one of the funnest 40 minute lengths of time of my LIFE. The two teenagers in front of me were clearly no older than sixteen, but had equally as clearly been married for at least thirty years. “I didn’t eat because Friday night is Pizza Night,” said the girl,…
Read MoreBottom Feeders: Why?
I told you last time on Bottom Feeders that I would watch and review The Last Airbender, so that’s just what I did. I spent a lot time defending M. Night Shyamalan but promised that all of that might change, and it has. M. Night and I have been soul mates since 1999 and always…
Read MoreBottom Feeders: CornuCoppola
Welcome to a special bonus edition of Bottom Feeders. Today I’m going to review a movie very near and dear to my own heart, but first – why Tuesday? Everyone knows I’m a Monday guy, so what happened? Is Ryan, like Mike, dead dead dead? Are they both alive and busy watching Like Mike? Who…
Read MoreBottom Feeders: Plants are Assholes.
Today on Bottom Feeders I’m going to take on what is a very sensitive subject for me: the works of M. Night Shyamalan. I’m going to be reviewing one of his less popular movies and in light of that I feel it’s only fair that I warn you: M. Night Shyamalan and I are soul…
Read MoreBottom Feeders: Ballistic: Ecks Vs Sever Vs Bottom Feeders: The Review
It’s not going to be very often that I give a positive review. That’s not what Bottom Feeders is about. Not only am I intentionally reviewing movies that are widely considered to be the worst ever, it’s also a lot harder to positively review things. That’s why Ballistic: Ecks Vs Sever has just joined what…
Read MoreBottom Feeders: It’s a (Parent) Trap! The horror movie remake of the remake.
It’s time for some more Bottom Feeders. This week I review I Know Who Killed Me – a thriller that stars Lindsey Lohan as separated twins but somehow isn’t a sequel to The Parent Trap. Before we dig in, it’s confession time: I love Guy Pearce. To me, he is the perfect actor. I love it when…
Read MoreBottom Feeders: Worst First Marvel Movie Ever.
Welcome back to bottom feeders. It’s the twice monthly column where I watch a movie you never have and tell you why you made the right decision. Today we’re going to talk about how the first ever Marvel Comic adaptation ended up being about a talking duck and why you can hate George Lucas…
Read MoreThe Horrible Bosses Weekend Quickie.
I had the same feeling going into Horrible Bosses that I think you would have babysitting a two year old. This kid is either going to be awesome and fun to hang out with or a tiny little asshole that screams at you and shits all over the place. Every single thing about this movie…
Read MoreBottom Feeders: Gettin’ Gigli With It.
Anyone can pick on the weak guy. That’s why there are bullies. They want to kick the little scrawny kid while he’s down because it makes them feel good. It’s a lot harder to stand up for those who can’t defend themselves, so you shouldn’t try to. I sure as hell won’t. Welcome to Bottom…
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