Daniel Tompkins
Bottom Feeders: Bucky Larson – Born to be a Star
Today I’m going to get a little bit artsy talking about a movie that’s pretty fartsy, so excuse me if I end up sounding like some kind of Timothy Sexton douche hole. Examining what exactly makes something unfunny is pretty difficult and the only way you can really go about it to use lots of…
Read MoreBottom Feeders: From Justin to Kelly
Entertainment is pretty much as important as food. That sounds a little ridiculous but the fact is that people need to be entertained. If that weren’t true Transformers 3 wouldn’t have grossed 1.1 billion dollars last year while banks were closing and people were losing their jobs. And just like food, there’s people who really…
Read MoreThe Bottom Feeders peer review of Timothy Sexton
I have a Yahoo email account. If you’re like me that means you’ve read more about the Kardashians, spicing up a floundering romance and which celebrities are fat now (Kirstie Alley, every time) than you ever thought you cared to. Yahoo is a terrible example of what human beings have done to the internet and…
Read MorePOP FILTER VS. THE CLASSICS
POP FILTER VS On the Waterfront When you review something it’s important to put it in its proper place and time. Being old isn’t an excuse to be bad, but it’s still worth noting that Star Wars wouldn’t have been such a dumb movie if George Lucas had been able to put giant shitty…
Read MoreBottom Feeders Gets Fingered
Comedy is a tricky thing. It’s a lot harder to judge than drama because it’s so subjective. Everyone thinks a child dying is sad, but only a few people think it’s funny and the rest of you are wrong. Comedy’s subjectivity is the very thing that stops pure comedies from ever winning an Oscar for…
Read MoreBottom Feeders: Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park
You may have noticed that a lot of the movies I review aren’t technically that bad. That’s because I go about reviewing terrible movies the same way I would go about reviewing spicy foods. In either case you don’t want to let the adjective overpower the noun. For instance, if I were a spicy foods connoisseur…
Read MoreBottom Feeders: Superbabies – Baby Geniuses 2
Children are parasites. They make you fat so they can feed off your body and then wreck your shit when you poop them out. It doesn’t help that it hurts so much you frequently poop actual poop as well. And that’s just the first nine months. You’ve got about another 25 years until you can…
Read MoreBottom Feeders: Drowning edition.
This week is going to be a little bit different for Bottom Feeders. I’m going to review a movie that technically isn’t all that bad. The direction isn’t terrible, the acting is actually pretty good and the plot isn’t a jumbled mess. How can a movie have all that going for it and still make…
Read MoreBottom Feeders: It’s a dream.
Every Hollywood director’s style can be plotted along a single creative spectrum. On one end you have entertainment, on the other you have art. Anchoring the ‘entertainment’ end, you have Michael Bay. If movies were hookers, he’s the guy that pays just to jerk off on their face and make them call him ‘daddy.’ On…
Read MoreBottom Feeders: Jimmy Fallon was in a movie with Queen Latifah, once.
This week on Bottom Feeders, we’re back on track with reviews of actual movies. Last time I mentioned the awesome book Writing Movies for Fun and Profit. If you like movies, books or being entertained, go ahead and read it. One of my favorite things about the authors is that they have no problem pointing…
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