WEEK TWO

 

 

ACTION COMICS #1

The grandaddy of the DC Comics line has the most to lose for a couple of reasons. One, its issue numbering was the highest, just over 900, before it was kicked all the way back to zer0, if that’s the kind of thing that matters to you. It’s also the flagship book, starring its most recognizable hero – a hero who couldn’t be less relevant to today’s fans if he tried. What keeps Superman from being as popular as he was seventy years ago, when he began a genre that dominates this medium, and the occasional multiplex, today? His boring boy scout attitude towards everything that comes his way? His boring power set. which includes every power ever invented? His boring, stale relationships, which plateaued, dramatically speaking, years ago? Writer Grant Morrision, who is responsible for the greatest Superman story of all time, All Star Superman, and artist Rags Morales answer all of those questions with “yes.” “Yes, all of those things are wrong with him, and let’s fix them right away.”

In Action Comics #1, Superman, and in turn Clark Kent, are new to Metropolis, the city that will one day herald him (probably). He has lived there for six months, in a shitty, pay-by-the-week apartment. He has befriended a kid named Jimmy Olson, who works for a different newspaper than he does (BIG CHANGE!!!). And a girl named Lois Lane barely knows he exists. The city fears him, not just because he is different (although that is a big part of it), but because he has own way of doing things. He isn’t exactly the Punisher, but he is pretty far removed from the Big Blue Scout we all grew to know and tolerate. And, above all that, the one thing that is the most important for this issue to nail down: Superman can get his ass kicked. It happens in this issue more than once, and the haymaker blow is delivered by none other than one Lex Luthor.

Morrison is a big idea kind of guy, and this issue of Action is not. Is he building to something bigger here? Probably.  But also, the kind of shit he pulled in Batman R.I.P. and Final Crisis isn’t going to work when you’re rebooting a world, mostly in the interest of getting new readers. That being said, a lot of information is dropped in this issue, and it’s all done fairly well. It’s as if all parties involved knew that this was going to be one of the first ones out of the gate. Clark is a nerd and Supes is a bit of a reckless badass, and this is a dynamic that is going to be a lot more fun to play around with than nerdy Clark and nothing-to-him Superman. Which one is the real person? Is he nerding it up when he takes off the cape? Or is he actually a nerd, and the cape serves as some sort of Fonz-making safety blanket? The centerpoint of this new world is getting to know the new world, but Morrison, DC, and company are going to be a lot better off if they get us to come for the world, but stay for the people. – RH

 

RATING:

CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT ISSUE

I’LL READ IT IF I CAN FIND THE TIME

FUCK IT. COULDN’T CARE LESS

 

 

ANIMAL MAN #1

Animal Man isn’t your typical superhero, and his comic has never been your typical superhero book. Especially since Grant Morrison took him in the eighties, broke the fourth wall, and waxing philosophical and psychological with him revamping a dude who can take on animal traits, kind of a lame deal amongst the DC heroes, into an activist who’s books have continued to stray into mind-fuckery. Seems that Jeff Lemire, creator of the much heralded indie book Sweet Tooth, is continuing that trend. In the first issue Buddy dons the costume for the first time in quite awhile, and has to disable a man mad with grief over the loss of his daughter. Already heavier than your regular capes and cowls fare, he is also inexplicably bleeding from the eyes, which freaks everyone out a little.  He returns home and slips into a fever dream where his daughter (in a little Animal Girl costume) has apparently killed his wife, gutted his son and Buddy is now hunted by the Hunters Three, giant monstrosities  claiming to be her true father. Buddy wakes up to find his wife and son horrified at the little girl playing with dead animals she’s reanimated. Holy fuck, this was a rad first issue and promises to have everything I loved about Morrison’s run in it. The artwork is incredibly unique for a big imprint, looking like it it should belong on the indie circuit. Travel Foreman’s art creates the creepy atmosphere that this book is obviously going to run on.-MG

 

 

RATING:

CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT ISSUE

I’LL READ IT IF I CAN FIND THE TIME

FUCK IT. COULDN’T CARE LESS

BATGIRL #1

The thought of Barbra Gordon out of the wheelchair and back in the cape and cowl is pretty exciting. I don’t know how popular Batgirl is world wide, but growing up I was the weirdo of my friends who dug her in the panels, and not just for the tight black leather, and the artists’ knack of drawing her ample bat-bosom. She has a levity that Batman lacks, and a connection to law enforcement where she has seen those who play by the letter of the law fail in dealing with the crazies of the DC universe.

Issue one opens with a prologue showing a caped and gloved figure, face unseen with a mirror on his chest, drowning a man with a garden hose demanding to know how he survived an accident. A list of names is shown, and Babs name is towards the end. Cut to Batgirl swinging through town, excited to be suited up for the first time in three years. She saves a couple about to be brutally murdered in their home, but is obviously rusty and concerned about her fear. We get a flashback scene that shows us in this new world, she was still shot and crippled by the Joker, but eventually healed. We meet her new roommate, who is a spunky anti-authoritarian type which I’m sure some fun drama will ensue from that combination. Then the book cuts to the Gotham PD guarding a comatose inmate in the hospital, and the mirror man from the beginning starts fucking up cops to get to said inmate. Batgirl tears shit the hospital up on her batcycle, and tries to fight the mirror dude off but chokes up when he draws a gun on her. The inmate is thrown out the window while Batgirl is frozen in fear, and the book ends with the surviving cop accusing her of being a murderer for not helping. Which is sort of bullshit, since she didn’t save the guy either. The point is, this book is going to be about a kick ass gal attempting to overcome her trauma and be  hero again, and I’m delighted to see what else Gail Simone and Co are going to throw our way.-MG

 

RATING:

CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT ISSUE

I’LL READ IT IF I CAN FIND THE TIME

FUCK IT. COULDN’T CARE LESS

 

BATWING #1

One of the holdovers from Grant Morrison’s Batman, Inc., in which Bruce Wayne starts setting up Batman franchises all over the world, is Batwing, who I dare you to not call African Batman, or Africanman, or Blatman, or Batafrican, or Afrika Bambaatman. Bruce has set this guy up with all the latest in Batgear and Battech, and now he’s out to rid the streets of Africa of crime, starting with a big time drug dealer named Tiger Blood, and a psychopathic serial killer named Massacre. Writer Judd Winick begins a couple good mystery threads here, but the African setting doesn’t really do enough to separate this from other Bat books. Sure, Africa is tough, but have you seen Gotham City? The billboards around town read “If you lived here, you’d be dead by now.” I mean, I don’t want to say Gotham is rough, but it makes my mother-in-law look like Metropolis! Yeesh.

Sorry. To be honest, Winick works best when he has little to do, or when not a ton of story gets in the way. Here, we’re following Batwing AND his real life persona, a super cop who also fights crime. This means we get a lot of detectivin’, and not a lot of characterin’, which feels like we’re kinda wasting Winick’s talents. I don’t really care about this guy or this story, so the only reason I’m going to at least read one more issue is to not come off as a racist. – RH

RATING:

CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT ISSUE

I’LL READ IT IF I CAN FIND THE TIME

FUCK IT. COULDN’T CARE LESS

 

DETECTIVE COMICS #1

The entire reboot has a lot riding on it, but I feel Detective Comics has a bit of extra pressure. For one, it’s what the fucking company is named after- if your namesake sucks, it’s going to be hard to show your face to all the other comic companies at the comic company annual tea party. That’s a thing right? The second factor adding some pressure- this is our first look at Batman on his own. He was one of the main characters of last week’s Justice league, but this is five years later and in his city. And this is not the Gotham that knows and loves him, this is the Gotham of the early days where the cops are out for his blood, except for Commissioner Gordon who is still not completely sure of their relationship. The comic starts far more violent then DC normally puts out- the first text box tells us that Joker has killed 114 people in the last six years, and Batman hasn’t caught him yet, until now when there’s finally a pattern in grisly murders, and Batman tracks Joker in a shitty apartment, where he is naked and butchering a guy who is wearing a mask of flesh, telling Joker it’s an honor. Again, this is a violent book, blood is splashed, and the numerous stabbings are just barely hidden between panels. Later in the book, Batman and Joker are going head to head, and Joker gasses him, then stabs Bats with a couple of knives through his suit. I forgot how exciting it is to read about new superheroes who don’t know every move their nemesis will make. During the fight Joker alludes to a bigger conspiracy going on in Gotham, before being taken to Arkham where it’s immediately set up that the doctors don’t believe their patients are criminals. It’s nice when some things stay the same. The issue ends with Joker talking to the Dollmaker, who is the father of the skin mask dude he killed earlier. And then Joker gets his fucking face cut off, by choice! This issue was an insane introduction into an unruly and filthy Gotham. There was a sweet Detective Bullock cameo too. -MG

 

RATING:

CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT ISSUE

I’LL READ IT IF I CAN FIND THE TIME

FUCK IT. COULDN’T CARE LESS

 

GREEN ARROW #1

Green Arrow can either be awesome or lame sauce depending on who’s writing him. And that’s both his character, and his gadgetry. I like my Green Arrow to have as much humor as righteous indignation, if not more, and keep the trick arrows to as minimum as possible. Unfortunately, the creative team behind this reboot decided Ollie should preach at the two bit villains he fights, going on about how they should use their powers to help society and blah blah blah. There were no real stakes, just him running around rooftops of Paris, while on a conference call to his company across the globe. It makes it worse that the villains like to tape their crimes and post them on youtube, and at the end are sprung from jail by more criminals who want to post stupid fucking video tapes on youtube! The only interesting parts of this book, were the two sidekicks- one is a pacifist who makes all of Green Arrow’s arrows and doesn’t agree with the way he’s ‘doing good’, and the other is a hacker chick who encourages GA to just blow up the bad guys’ car. I like her. Nothing else. I know this is just an introduction to this character and his world, but there was nothing to draw you in to his story.  If this book doesn’t get dropped, it’s due to popularity of the character in general, not this incarnation.-MG

RATING:

CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT ISSUE

I’LL READ IT IF I CAN FIND THE TIME

FUCK IT. COULDN’T CARE LESS

 

HAWK AND DOVE #1

EXT. DC HEADQUARTERS CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

HEAD OF DC: Hey, lackey. Why did you call this meeting with me?

LACKEY: I heard you were rebooting the whole line, and I had an idea.

HEAD (rolling his eyes): Shoot.

LACKEY: I think one of the new 52 titles should be Hawk and Dove.

HEAD: WHAT!?!

LACKEY: Stay with me here. They’re really dumb characters, no one has ever heard of them, and they bring nothing to the table.

HEAD: I’m listening.

LACKEY: Okay – Sorry. I’m just so excited. And then, what we’ll do, is we’ll put them in the most lameass costumes the world has ever seen, even though all of the characters in the universe are getting new costumes.

HEAD: Keep going.

LACKEY: I don’t know who will draw it, but we can make the writing so old-school awful, that even the tiny minority that have any affinity left for these characters will throw-up all over their shirts!

HEAD: I’ve thought about it, and I must say that’s the worst fucking idea I’ve ever heard.

LACKEY: By day, I am just your common lackey. By night, I am Hawk, crime fighter and stupid idiot extraordinaire.

HEAD: I’m listening.

LACKEY: And I have pictures of you and your mistress that I will mail to your wife.

HEAD: Welp, clearly this is the only way this conversation could have done. Get Rob Liefeld on the  phone.

 

RATING:

CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT ISSUE

I’LL READ IT IF I CAN FIND THE TIME

FUCK IT. COULDN’T CARE LESS

 

JUSTICE LEAGUE INTERNATIONAL #1

So, the United Nations has decided that they want a superhero team that they can control. It’s only fair right? So they all get on the horn and hand pick a multi-ethnic team of less-than-elite superheroes to be their very own clean-up crew. And that’s how we get Justice League International, the official showcase for DC’s B-level superstars. If Justice League is about DC’s biggest and brightest saving the world on a daily basis, JLI has always been about what it’s like to behind the curtains of a superhero team and how they interrelate, even if they are a little out of their “league”. Think the cast of Jersey Shore at the Emmys, with slightly less fist bumping. The odd thing about the two Justice League books is that apparently Justice League is going to take its sweet ass time getting their group together, and JLI takes a page or two, and then jumps right into the action. Role reversal aside, you can see how writer Dan Jurgens gets, or will eventually get, how this team and this book works. Artist Aaron Lopresti keeps things clean and neat, and will succeed at this book because he can draw expressive faces. This book needs the expressive faces. Skipable, but fun, and definitely worth an add to your pull list if you are mostly focusing on the darker side of the DCnU, and are going to need a little break every once in awhile. – RH

 

RATING:

CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT ISSUE

I’LL READ IT IF I CAN FIND THE TIME

FUCK IT. COULDN’T CARE LESS

MG

MEN OF WAR #1

I don’t really give a shit about war comics, I don’t have anything against them, just never read one that did much for me.  The first issue of Men at War is much the same. The art is decent, and the only real negative I have is they spend the first few pages sucking the main character’s dick a bit more than my liking. It’s just panel after panel of Corporal Rock’s Sergeant telling him how kick ass he is. Show me a character is awesome, don’t have another character go on a borderline creepy diatribe about it! Rock is picked for a special assignment he knows nothing about due to his general badassery, and while his new unit is paratrooping to their mission, he sees a flying man start to fuck shit up. The sergeant who brought him on gets separated from the group, and apparently kicks ass in a cave taking cover from the flying dude’s wreckage. The sergeant says the flyer is supposed to be on their side, and then the flying dude gets attacked by his shadow! Hell breaks loose, sergeant die and tells Rock he’s now a Sergeant. Meh. They didn’t do a great job at building the characters, or making the reader care. The only reason I’d read this book in the future is to see the normal soldier deal with super beings, that could be really fascinating if done right. At the end of the issue is a generic story about A group of Navy seals, that was even more bleh. Hopefully they just drop this unrelated chunk. -MG

 

RATING:

CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT ISSUE

I’LL READ IT IF I CAN FIND THE TIME

FUCK IT. COULDN’T CARE LESS

 

OMAC #1

In OMAC‘s defense, the writer and artist team of Dan DiDio and Keith Giffen are clearly trying to make a throwback comic. That being said, the comics of yesteryear are often…hold on, let me grab my thesaurus and find a different word for “sucky”…quaint, and this one is certainly no exception. Our story begins in some sort of corporate building, where a group of corporate people are doing their corporate things, when all of a sudden OMAC, a big, blue monster busts in. At this point, an office computer tells OMAC to go find something, so he can take that something and go do something to something (I swear to God I read this entire issue. I didn’t skim past the talky parts or nothin’.). At the end, we find out he is just a dude who winds up in the desert, and is being told what to do by something called Brother Eye, a giant spaceship who apparently is watching over the Earth like it’s a big TV. Dan DiDio is a big wig boss at DC, and it seems like he has a lot on his plate right now, what with the whole rebooting and all. He might want to go make sure that’s all running smoothly, and maybe…and this is just a suggestion…not write any more comic books. Yuck. – RH

RATING:

CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT ISSUE

I’LL READ IT IF I CAN FIND THE TIME

FUCK IT. COULDN’T CARE LESS

 

STATIC SHOCK #1

I have no idea why this would be picked to be one of the new 52 titles. I know Static Shock at times and in a couple of incarnations in the comics, but I know him from the pretty forgettable cartoon in the early 2000s. The character and tone of the whole book seem to be heavily influenced by that WB show, and it doesn’t match up with the rest of the books released so far. Static is a 15 year old kid living with his family in Harlem, who has the power to control electricity. It’s obvious the character is heavily influenced by Spider-Man, being a teenage quippy superhero, but he isn’t nearly as charming as the original. I don’t even feel like dissecting the plot and delving into this world more, this was an incredibly boring first issue, for a pretty boring character. I just don’t understand why DC is throwing a kid’s book in with all the heavy shit they’re releasing with the new 52. Maybe I’m wrong, and Static’s world is about to be torn apart in a fucked up way, but I’ll just have to find out through the grapevine-MG

RATING:

CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT ISSUE

I’LL READ IT IF I CAN FIND THE TIME

FUCK IT. COULDN’T CARE LESS

 

STORMWATCH #1

Stormwatch, written by Paul Cornell and drawn by Miguel Sepulveda, turns on the crazy immediately and doesn’t stop for one second. It’s not confusing, and it has no right to be, as a number one issue of a universe relaunch, so if you take it all in and don’t get freaked out, you should be fine. The Martian Manhunter, the least Big of the Big 7 that make up the JLA, is actually in two teams. The Justice League of America when he needs to do some flag waving and save the planet in the spotlight, and Stormwatch, when he needs to get his hands a little dirty. Stormwatch watches the planet and makes sure everything is as cool as it needs to be. Most of the first issue is spent trying to recruit a new member, named Apollo. Apollo doesn’t do teams or threats to the world, and politely, through punches and kicks, tells the team no. That’s not going to work for Stormwatch, however, and tries to make Apollo an offer he can’t refuse. In the end, Apollo is saved by a new hero named Midnighter, and fans of the old Wildstorm universe will know that this is the beginning of a very beautiful friendship. Paul Cornell knows how to take big and stupid and make it big and awesome. On paper, his runs on Action Comics and Captain Britain and MI-13 sound absurdly baffling. But once you say to yourself “Wait, I’m reading a comic book. Fuck it, this is kind of awesome, ” he rarely, if ever disappoints. Extra bonus points to having someone mention an event from Superman #1, out in three weeks, in casual conversation, and having the editors asterisk the line and let you know what they are talking about. I think that there are many ways to make a universe feel cohesive that don’t include massive crossovers and events, and this is a great way to do it. Just have the characters talk as if they’re in the same universe, and let me decide if I want to read that issue of Superman or not. – RH

RATING:

CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT ISSUE

I’LL READ IT IF I CAN FIND THE TIME

FUCK IT. COULDN’T CARE LESS

 

SWAMP THING #1

The one thing that’s become apparent, at least so far, for these 52 new books, is that it’s not DC, or any of the writer’s intents, to wow you with flash and explosions right away. They are starting something here. They are in it for the long haul, and if you’re ready for a slower burn, you might be too. Swamp Thing is our first glimpse of what happens when the Vertigo characters come over (or come back) to the DCU proper. We meet our hero, Dr. Holland, an ex-botanist turned construction worker who died a couple months ago in a lab explosion. When he comes back to life, as these people tend to do, it’s as a type of werewolf, though in this case, his wolfy version is of the Swamp Thing, a big, gross moldman who loves plants and shit. How writer Scott Snyder and artist Yanette Paquette are going to bridge the gap between the DCU and Vertigo is answered with this issue: the good doctor has a long conversation with Superman about how the doc is doing with his new “personality”, and the issue ends with a straight horror sequence featuring what has to be the most interesting badguy the new Universe has to offer so far. It turns this issue into a mullet, business in the front and party in the back, but never boring. Snyder’s novelist background creates a great, flowing conversation, but more importantly, and certainly more rare, Snyder has a firm grasp on thought bubbles. Once thought a wasteland of unneeded exposition, Snyder uses them to get us inside his main characters head in a “novel” way. Finding out Swamp Thing was a book I was going to have to read was a bummer. Actually sitting down and reading it gets me pumped for this new 52 bullshit in a way no book has yet to. Feel the slow burn, people. – RH

RATING:

CAN’T WAIT TO READ THE NEXT ISSUE

I’LL READ IT IF I CAN FIND THE TIME

FUCK IT. COULDN’T CARE LESS

 

 

 

 

READ THIS WEEK’S ENTIRE BATCH OF NEW BOOKS AT

https://read.dccomics.com/comixology/#