FALL TV EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

JESSIE

** (out of ****)

 

The Disney Channel puts another sitcom on the barbie with Jessie, starring Debby Ryan, a Disney product. Ryan (FINALLY) gets her chance to be the star after appearing in something called The Suite Life on Deck, which is a show featuring a title that makes no sense. Here she finds herself fresh off the boat from Texas in New York City, there to make her dreams come true. What those dreams are no one knows, but if they aren’t homeless man or stripper, she better find a job quick. Luckily she lives in sitcom world, where jobs can be found before the opening credits roll. In this case, she is found by a little girl after being thrown out of a cab, and the little girl decides Jessie is going to be the new nanny to her and her three multicultural siblings. There’s White Girl, who is kind of an idiot princess; Black Girl, who finds Jesse, and is still too young for the writers to have her realize her stereotypes; Indian Boy, who says things like “This video game is like hot curry!”, and stops just short of saying “Thank you. Come again.”; and Latino-ish Boy, who isn’t actually Latino, he is just slightly darker than White Girl. Their adoptive parents are celebrities who are always on the go, so a full time nanny is necessary. The kids go through nannies like Indian Boy goes through curry, but I bet I know one girl from Texas who can shape these kids up for a season or five (it’s Jessie). This is strictly for my kid-gers, so anyone over ten be careful, but if you know people who are younger than that, I wouldn’t be afraid to put them in front of this show. It has things in the shape of jokes, and I’m sure the curry lines will decrease with time.

 

COMING SOON FROM THE TV ASSHOLES:

MIKE DOES BEDLAM!

DT DOES AMERICAN HORROR STORRY!

RYAN DOES LAST MAN STANDING!

 

-Ry Ry Jones