FALL TV EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

 

PRIME SUSPECT

**1/2 (out of ****)

Maria Bello take over for Helen Mirren, something no actress wants to do unless we’re talking about a prequel to Red, in Prime Suspect. In it, she plays New York detective Jane Timoney. I know what you’re thinking: Maria is a girl’s name! Jane is a girl’s name! How in the wide, wide world of sports could a girl be a detective? She ain’t got no penis hyah hyah hyuk hyuk hyah! These are all excellent points, and I thank you for bringing them up. It turns out that everyone that Timoney works with shares your same sentiments. And they bring them up. A lot. All of the time. You would be shocked at how baffling it is to the entire force, especially in 2011. Now, believe it or not, I’ve never been a detective in New York in 2011, male or female, so I would never say that the sexism in this show is a little overwrought. But it is.

The constant sexism aside, Prime Suspect is a halfway decent show. Maria Bello is competent, for the most part, and it doesn’t feel like she is trying too hard, but the writers might be. Sometimes, she’s a badass chick who is rewriting all of the rules. Other times, she’s kind of just a cunt. It’s supposed to make everyone know that she’s a badass, but it’s not how it turns out. This, just like the sexism thing, are minor things that I can see being ironed out. It takes itself seriously, races through the plotline with pretty good pacing, and at the end, you don’t hate yourself for watching it. That’s not so bad, right?

PERSON OF INTEREST

*** (out of ****)

Person of Interest starts out like it could be a pretty cool mixture of the crappy one-and-done procedural shows that run television, and a Lost-like show with mystery and intrigue. I’m just going to say it: I love intrigue. But instead of stretching secrets across five seasons like Lost did, Person of Interest waits for its characters only to ask their questions two or three times, and then spills the beans. This means all we’re left with is the one-and-done show, but at least there’s an O.K. premise. Michael Emerson (from Lost!) invented a machine that monitors the entire city. He created it to stop terrorism after 9/11. Information that seems pertinent to stopping terrorism is kept. The rest is deleted, or at least that’s what Ben from Lost told them. It actually goes to a hard drive that only he has access to. After a decade of criminal information being disregarded because it didn’t specifically have to do with A-Rabs, Ben from Lost decides to do something about it. He finds a super secret agent ranger special forces homeless man in Jim Caviezel (Jesus! Jesus and Ben from Lost!), and together they take this information and go fight crime. Kinda cool, right? Kinda. It turns out that throughline of mystery that was so frustrating in Lost I actually kind of like. Networks love these shows because you can miss one or seven, and then tune back in at any point you want, whereas people who miss just one episode of Lost drop off forever. But without it, I don’t have a ton of reason to go back. The other big problem here is Jim Caviezel. He is in full “old man Eastwood/Christopher Nolan’s Batman” whispery growl mode. It’s idiotic. That’s not how all heroes talk. It’s not how Peter Parker talks. It’s not how Dennis Quaid talks. And it’s certainly not how Sully “Sully Sull” Sullenberger talks.

 

TOMORROW: A GIFTED MAN!!!

 

-Ryan Haley