WE ARE MEN

** (out of ****)

Just when you think that We Are Men might be a good show with some terrible elements, it finally proves itself to be a terrible show with some pretty good elements. The premise of four recently divorced gentlemen hanging out makes me immediately want to retch. Why? Follow these steps:

1. Find a vanilla lead that makes you smile a little bit, even when the much more interesting co-stars are off screen. (Someone named Chris Smith)

2. Cast the three biggest celebrities we can get. (Kal Penn, Tony Shalhoub, Jerry O’Connell)

3. Give them a few character traits that don’t impede them from doing what they normally do.

4. Let the magic happen!!!…!

That’s never gonna work, assholes. It still needs a voice, one person or a group of people to stand up and shout “I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, and I’m going to say it a fresh new way that will include laughter.” It takes four actors who will NEVER BE SATISFIED with their character’s progression, feeling the need to mine for detail even episodes that give them very little. This, instead, plays like Grown Ups, but instead of giving us four movie stars (sort of), they give us four actors of varying degrees of fame and talent who don’t have a strong enough personality to seem like they’re just wandering around blind.

What made it seem like it might be a good show with terrible elements? Towards the beginning, Kal Penn introduces the lead as “the guy whose wife just left him.” The lead guy asks him if he has to lead with that. Penn tells him that that’s all we really know about him. At least Kal Penn knows the kind of show he’s on.

-Ryan Haley