Flickchart’s Greatest Battles

 In which we pit two movies together using flickchart.com, debating their merits or lack thereof.

ROUND ONE

TROY

  VS

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

           Troy and Catch Me if You Can, the first is based on one of the greatest stories of all time. The other features America’s sweetheart Tom Hanks dropping an F bomb. Two formidable opponents but only one can come out on top. Who should it be? Troy is about the The Trojan war, a story that comes from the Grecian epic The Iliad by some dude named Homer, a familiar text for anyone who has ever been to high school. The movie, directed by Wolfgang Petersen details the legend of Achilles played by Brad Pitt. Achilles is like the John McClaine of ancient Greece, who’s birth was foretold by the stars and his name would live on forever for his heroic deeds in war blah blah blah blah blah blah blah you know the damn story. Catch Me if You Can was directed by Steven Spielberg and is based on the real story of the incredible life of Frank Abagnale Jr., a teenager who defrauded banks and airlines of millions of dollars while evading the authorities for several years. It centers around the relationship that develops between Frank Abignail Jr. (DiCaprio) and uptight FBI agent Carl Hanratty (Hanks) of the check fraud division. The winner? Troy. This story has been told for over 3,000 years. It has goddamn everything: a good and an evil king, both familial and romantic love, battle, and tragedy.-SR

WINNER: TROY

WHAT WOMEN WANT

VS

APOCALYPTO

It’s ok to like Mel Gibson the actor and Mel Gibson the director.  Mel Gibson the person is the worst but so are Sean Penn the person and Mark Wahlberg the person as well as every other celebrity.  At least these guys have the decency to be somewhat talented.  I don’t know exactly why saying you like Chris Brown makes you an asshole but it’s ok to like Braveheart even though the director and star is a dick.  But for some reason it is.  Movies are just different from everything else like that.  In any case, you should like Apocalypto because it’s a great film and dislike What Women Want because it’s the movie the word ‘drivel’ was invented to define.  If we let how much of an asshole someone is factor into decisions like these we ruin FGB because they are almost all assholes.  The important thing is that you absorb as much art as you possibly can and pay for none of it.  I’m not giving some anti-semitic prick my money.-DT

WINNER: APOCALYPTO