Flickchart’s Greatest Battles

 In which we pit two movies together using flickchart.com, debating their merits or lack thereof.

ROUND ONE

Hitch

VS

Equilibrium

Oh man…these are the sort of battles Flickchart was made for.  Two movies so equally mediocre that it might just be a tie.  It’s a choice between one of the most forgettable romantic comedies of the century and a dumb, jocky reboot of 1984.  I feel bad even naming a winner.  Like any close match up, it’s the tiniest of details that could decide who takes it all home.  Or we could just give it to the one with Will Smith in it.  Yeah, let’s do that.  Hitch also has the advantage of having never been recommended to me by some dummy who thinks he’s stumbled on a small, indie version of the Matrix.  If FGB was a literal battle to the death I’d just hope these two managed to mortally wounded each other before they started drooling and staring listlessly into the sun.  They’re both forgettable, I just want to forget one even more than the other.  And so it loses.  Good job, Fresh Prince.-DT

Winner:

Hitch

ROUND TWO

FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS

VS

LEGEND

In 2006, Clint Eastwood released two films about World War II, one from the mindset of the Americans, and one from the mindset of the Japanese. Looking back on it now, it’s no surprise how the two movies turned out. Letters From Iwo Jima is a quiet masterpiece that forces you to forget the differences in the races of soldiers the second a war breaks out, showing us that there is little difference in the lives of American and Japanese grunts. Flags of Our Fathers is a rah-rah, flag waving, emotional mess that forces you to forget the film itself. So which pile of junk would it take to allow Flags of Our Fathers to win a Flickchart battle? A pile of junk that Mike Gravagno released onto the podcast panelists and, in turn, their legion of listeners. Legend shares its problems with every young man in the eighties: bloated, high, and has Tom Cruise inside of it. — RH

WINNER:

FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS