In which we tell you about awesome things that you must look into and enjoy.

Read a Book!

Not just any book though. You should think of a movie or television show you enjoyed that was based on a book and then read THAT book. How often have you heard “the book was better” but how often do you say “I should read more”? Well now you can combine these two platitudes into an enjoyable way to re-experience a story you already know you like. Plus you won’t have to tax your imagination thinking of visualizations and voices for all the characters; they’ve been provided for you! Even if you’re not a “reader” it’s still a good idea to read the occasional book. Your mind needs exercise just like your body and there’s nothing like reading a book to give it that workout!

Unless that book is Twilight. Don’t read Twilight.-SB

[Editor’s Note: Seeing as Sam gave you no real direction to go, we added some helpful suggestions by other writers!]

CHAOS WALKING

        Chaos Walking is a young adult scifi trilogy set on a planet where there are no more females. In addition to that, all animals can hear each other’s thoughts so the planet is filled with Noise–a combination of every thought, image, and sound of those nearby. It’s a brutal place, and young Todd is about to become a man. The trilogy follows Todd as he navigates growing up and learns about the lies, violence and insanity of mankind. I refuse to give anything more away plot-wise. No young adult series goes as far as Chaos Walking in terms of thematic complexities, and sheer fun violence. This series hits you repeatedly in the gut with emotion, and deals with gender politics, the meaning of morality, and genocide. I’d go as far and say it should be required school reading for 8th graders, but no matter your age, check it out before it becomes a movie (which Charlie Kaufman is currently attached to write).-MG

Read if you like: The Hunger Games, Ender’s Game, The Game starring Michael Douglas

The Great Divorce

The Great Divorce is a Christian book about how to get into heaven that you should read because even more than that, it’s a common-sense book about how not to be a dick.  For the purposes of this article I will state that I am not Christian, although I was raised Catholic.  (Catholics are like normal Christians who masturbate way more).  It’s a weird place to get it from but pop culture should sometimes eviscerate you and if there isn’t at least one part of The Great Divorce that makes your dick shrink up into your body then you’re probably perfect already.  You won’t feel guilty – the point of the book isn’t to make you fear hell – you’ll just feel like kind of an asshole, because you are one.  In fact the best part of the book is its description of hell, or rather lack thereof.  You either level up and go chill with angels or just kind of sit around in a slightly more boring version of earth.  What makes it hell is that you could’ve improved yourself and didn’t, you chump.  If nothing else will convince you at least be aware that it’s only a novella.  That means it’s like 100 pages long.  You can be done in two hours and then tell everyone that you read a book.  Think of how fucking cool they’ll think you are.-DT