Hidden Gems: Sex Galaxy

What is it?:  Touted as the first “green” film, Sex Galaxy is a comedy that almost entirely consists of public domain footage.  The footage mostly comes from old B-movies and vintage erotica and it’s edited together to tell a cohesive story more or less.  The audio is all overdubbed as well to move the new plot along.  I say it’s almost all stock footage because there is literally ONE scene that they filmed for this and the rest is from the archives.  The plot follows a bunch of space plumbers that head into space to solve a massive shit explosion at a space station.  After patching up the station they decide that what they really need is to head over to a nearby planet with a bunch of beautiful prostitutes who are ruled by a robot pimp.  The reason they all need this is that sex has been outlawed on earth due to overpopulation so the only place they can get sex is the…wait for it…SEX GALAXY.  Gee what a clever thing they did there.

Why is it a “Hidden” Gem?:  So as far as I can tell, NOBODY has heard of this movie.  As of this writing it has 3 reviews on Amazon (if there’s any more once you read this then I think the producers know who to thank with a bounty of prehistoric space prostitutes.)  I certainly never would have heard of it if I hadn’t attended the prestigious Boobs and Blood Film Festival back in 2010, where some footage from this got aired.  I was game and I talked to director Mike Davis to get a copy of this for review for the site I was writing for at the time.  Sadly I got super busy and left very soon after so that review never saw the light of day.  Hopefully this half assed write up on a far less esteemed corner of the internet* will make up for the free DVD.

Why it is Worth Your Time?:  Imagine if Mystery Science Theater 3000 produced their own original film.  No asshole I don’t mean the one they did produce that was basically an episode of the TV show with no commercials.  Instead this seems like something they could have easily done had they ever aspired to go beyond making funny commentaries.  So with a task as daunting as putting together this film, Sex Galaxy would be forgiven if it turned out to be a little mediocre.  Honestly I wasn’t expecting much.  But speaking as somebody whose sense of humor has never evolved past the 8^th grade I can tell you that this is FUCKING HILARIOUS.  In fact, I think the 8^th grade mindset is exactly where you have to put yourself to really love this movie like I do.  I mean shit, back then us dudes were just discovering how awesome masturbation was and how totally hot every part of a lady was.  Considering sex is outlawed on earth, our heroes are going through the same thing here.  Take the early scene where they discover a porno feed.  I remember a Eugene Mirman stand up segment where he was talking about how overly horny dudes say ridiculous shit about women’s lady parts.  Well here we get the grand mecca of lady part descriptions when our hero, Giles Grayson, described a woman’s ass as being “like two hippopotami fighting over a great well.”

We get plenty more of these analogies from Grayson throughout the film which is fucking awesome.  Ben Phillips does the voice acting on him and he’s perfect at creating an almost Captain Murphyesque idiot who thinks he’s the wisest man in the universe.  Under Grayson’s lead is Ben Dorsett, the Texas millionaire bankrolling the operation, and Billy, the innocent twenty something lad who’s never put his penis anywhere near a vagina.  He’s the connection to the 8^th grader in all of us as the wide-eyed little guy with racing adolescent hormones.  Look to the scene where he almost drifts out to space because he gets a boner in his space suit.  Glory.

So since this is kind of a “throw everything at the wall and see what sticks” approach we do get some stuff that is fucking annoying.  Take Wron the robot pimp of the planet they arrive one.  At some points he’s easily the most annoying character in the flick as he’s constantly talking like some stereotypical New Jersey thug who’s heavily constipated.  At first he’s really hard to deal with but it gets easier and easier as the plot moves along.  Oh yeah and if you couldn’t tell already the plot here is super thin.  They basically just use it to make jokes.  Usually I hate that but considering this film is already stitched together from a bunch of other sources, it works here.  It’s actually really funny to see them use dialogue to try and make some of the footage make sense.  I love the scene where they run into the random group of tribal boys on the planet.

Anyway, if you watched Kung Pow: Enter the Fist and were like “Damn it, I wish this had more people saying funny dubbed things and was in space, then you will LOVE this movie.  If you’re a normal person you’ll probably be amused by it too.  Also you don’t even have to go out and buy it because it’s on Instant Watch.  Get some popcorn, lube and your favorite viewing device and get to it.

*Less esteemed doesn’t mean shitty.  Remember in Titanic how all the highly regarded people were being stuffy douchenozzles while all of the less esteemed poor people were having fun and dancing?  That’s right being less esteemed means Pop Filter gets to fuck Kate Winslet.  Stuff it mainstream internets. – ASW