Hi, I’m Mike TV

Television for the week of August 1st

Childrens’ Hospital

Episode 1- Season 3

Many things stemmed from the Writer’s Strike of 2007-2008. Some will remember it as the worst thing to happen in the first decade of the 2000’s. Those people are assholes. I’m not gonna bum you out and list all of the worse things that happened in those years, but they were pretty bad. The Writer’s Strike sucked though, big time- it’s the reason reality television rules the airwaves these days. Unscripted TV got it’s nasty claws into the networks during the writer’s strike and has never let go. It’s cheap and foolish mortals continue to consume it, no matter how garbage-like it tastes. On an un-related note, you should totally be reading my TV counterpart Amelia’s articles about unscripted television. Don’t think me rambling about how bad reality TV is constitutes as an endorsement for not reading her shit. I endorse nothing….especially things that don’t pay me.

I had a point somewhere that I may have lost… right! The Writer’s Strike- though horrific things came from it, a few amazing events occurred as well. There were live SNL and 30 Rock shows at UCB theaters, Joss Whedon gave the world Dr. Horrible’s Sing-a-long Blog, and Robb Corddry started work on Children’s Hospital (I bet you thought I would never talk about it huh?). It started on the unlikely place of TheWB.com in five minute webisodes- yeah the network that brings you shit like the Vampire Diaries, is also into satirical balls-crazy short form comedy apparently- who knew?

The show got picked up by Adult Swim and is now into the third season. Hopefully that history lesson didn’t bore you, I thought the story of it all was pretty nifty. The show (now in 15 minute episodes) follows the medical staff of Childrens’ Hospital, mocking the tropes brought on by ER, House, Grey’s Anatomy, Scrubs, Private Practice and all the other fucking doctors’ shows out there. I use the word fucking here not to express my anger about how many terrible doctor shows there (which there totally are too many of), but because on all of those shows the staff gets down, and Childrens’ Hospital takes it to the next level having the entire cast make out and make sexy time with a variety of combinations, often in front or on top of their patients.

This season started with a classic getting-the-team-back-together plot. See doctors don’t work on Saturdays, but a little kid is sinking in quicksand. Because he went into a quick sand farm. First off all, I want to run that farm someday. Secondly- I don’t know what game German Soldier/Girl Prisoners is, but by the look on the kid’s face when he’s promised he can play it, and the way it made him dive into quicksand for a soccer ball, I want nothing more than to find out. Someone tell me what this game is. Now. The EMT wisely put the sinking kid and the quick sand in a tub, and brought him to Childrens’ Hospital. Which is both the name and the type of hospital by the way- it’s named for the founder Arthur Childrens. My spell check hates that I keep putting the apostrophe in the wrong place. The red squiggly lines are driving me insane….

I don’t want to just list all of the jokes, that would give too many of them away, and take far too long (and I listed some of them at the bottom). The doctors are all doing various weekend activities, and rush back to the hospital to save the boy. The one joke I will talk about is the generic voice-over threading throughout the opening, that is revealed to be Dr. Lola Spratt practicing with her voice-over coach. Hopefully that’s funny even after knowing it’s coming…. For a show that sprints through the entire episode, there is a a great moment that seems awkwardly long of Ken Marino floundering until the camera gets off him… that guy rules at everything…. I miss Party Down. This seems like a good time to talk about the cast, since I’ve mentioned a few of them already. The hilarious Robb Corrdry (who plays a doctor constantly wearing clown make up and fake blood on his scrubs) is joined by comedic greats Rob Huebel, Ken Marino, Megan Mullaley and Henry Winkler who all get some funny moments in, but I could use some more Winkler. Not a day goes by that I don’t say that. The other regulars I’m not too familiar with, but they seem to hold their own fine.

I feel more scatter-brained than usual, and it’s pretty fitting. This show is 15 minutes long and packed tight with absurd premises and jokes, they take us from rock climbing to superhero to hospital within a minute. Plus like 8 other locations that are less memorable, houses or whatever. Also, don’t be a dick and leave a comment telling me superhero isn’t a location- Watch the episode, what else would you call it? Rooftop? That’s more boring than house. But not quite as boring as House. That show is awful, just really bad… Adult Swim is the niche for ADD television, and it’s newer line up of non-cartoon shows fit in perfectly. They’re short, insanely joke filled, and over the top in every violent, sexual and disgusting way. I for one am going to continue to watch Childrens’ Hospital, and go back and catch up on the previous seasons. If you like 30 Rock, Robot Chicken, or The Simpson’s when it was good, you’ll probably enjoy this. If you like House or Grey’s Anatomy-kindly fuck off. I realize that I basically just sucked this show’s dick the whole time, but I thoroughly enjoyed it, and that’s rare for me. If you check it out and don’t like it, leave a comment and let me know why! -MG

Random awesomeness:

-Though the entire opening credits is gold, having fake actor names for the real actors, but then still having Rob Huebel’s name destroyed me.

-Did you know Malin Ackerman’s secret identity is Jon Hamm?

-Megan Mullaley looks weirdly hot as a super-hero…. I don’t know how I feel about how that makes me feel….

– “Quicksand- our old nemesis.”

– “It’s like a significant amount though.”

– “Smash.”

– If I keep listing them, I’ll have written the majority of the script….