NEW FALL TV EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

RINGER

Was there any point where we, as a society, believed Sarah Michelle Gellar to be a good actor? It’s been so long, I genuinely can’t remember. Or did we just tolerate her because she was tiny and cute? Buffy’s big return to a pseudo-network is called Ringer, and Holy God, television doesn’t get much worse than this. Gellar plays Bridget, an ex-druggie, who’s life isn’t going exactly like she planned. She wants some more drugs, she works at a restaurant, and, if that wasn’t enough (it isn’t, but I don’t really want anymore), she is the only witness to a murder, and is expected to testify. Instead, she runs away to find her twin sister, who she hasn’t seen in 6 years. How the producers found a girl who not only looks exactly like Gellar, but also acts equally poorly, I’ll never know. But it has to be a different actress, because of how seamless and real all of the scenes that they both appear in seem. The sister, of course, has a perfect life, perfect meaning rich. They, of course, go on a boat ride. Then the rich sister, of course, commits suicide. Bridget, of course, has no option but to take over her sister’s life. No one will be able to tell, because they look similar. Of course. What follows is 30 minutes of pure garbage, with Bridget, of course, running around her sister’s life and fixing all of her problems. If this show was any good, I would talk about a growing trend among new shows, and how they come up with such a narrow minded premise that they will write themselves into a corner and/or run out of steam before the end of the first season. By why go any farther than I already have? Nobody gives a shit. I hope the first premiere is the worst premiere, and the next couple of months won’t be this hard. Here we go.

RATING:

CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THE NEXT EPISODE

I’LL WATCH IT IF I CAN FIND THE TIME

FUCK IT. COULDN’T CARE LESS