POP FILTER

VS.

A SHOT IN THE DARK

 

This used to be a comedy. I use the past tense, but it is extremely frustrating to watch, and makes one filled with rage rather than giggles. “A Shot in the Dark” is a sequel to The Pink Panther featuring Inspector Jacques Clouseau, played by Peter Sellers.

Clouseau mixes up words, defies logic, and understandably drives his superior insane. Apparently, France used to solve murder cases with people that obtained their AA degree in over four years.

Note: I was doing dishes and drinking beer the entire time this film. Doing dishes requires my back to the screen for roughly 50% of the film; yes, I could have missed a lot of funny parts. You know what movie I was unable to do anything, but sit down and watch? MacGruber. 21 Jump Street. From Russia With Love. Food Inc. Black Hawk Down. Dodgeball. The Dark Knight. Highlander. The Other Guys.

Thank You For Smoking. V or Vendetta. Do you understand that I’m easily entertained and easily distracted? Just ask the admins for this site how long it took me to submit this.

What I liked about the film: The chinaman trying to attack the inspector while he was in bed with a lady, and Clouseau tries to keep the mood.

Something about watches.

Being able to do the dishes and not be distracted.

What I didn’t like: Damn near everything being slapstick. And even the dialogue that was kind of funny derived from a slapstick event. (See: every quote listed on IMDB http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058586/quotes)

If this was a silent film, at least I would have been forced against my will to look at the screen.

Now, before I turn this into some rampage, let me make clear that there are a few well thought out jokes and bits. The problem is that it takes an hour to get to the punchline. People have already begun to yell at me that this is a classic and I don’t “get it.” Possibly. I would say it’s more likely that I’m jaded by this century’s evolution of comedy. If you enjoy this film, chances are you also fight for the rascal scooter at a supermarket, because walking in the freezer section hurts your knees.

Listen, if you like slapstick humor that is slightly more evolved than people throwing a pie at each other, that’s great! In fact, I’m all for that. “A Shot in the Dark” fails this. “Airplane!” had plenty of bumbling fools and I still quote that comedic masterpiece daily.

Just because it was one of the first that paved the way for better things, does not mean that I’m supposed to like them based on that fact alone. It’s flawed logic and people assume that because something was revolutionary, it means that they are great. This also can apply to bands like The Beatles. If one more person says to me, “Well if it wasn’t for insert something awful then you wouldn’t have something good,” I may have to murder them. You know what? I like Western medicine. I think hospitals are great. Am I also supposed to like the idea of a “doctor” creating holes in my head in order for the demons to escape? I’m not required to like something purely on the basis that it’s a classic; fuck the previously stated notion, holistic medicine, and a yellow submarine. I’ll side with the things that are objectively better.

You know what would have made this movie tolerable? Steve Martin.

-Tim Applebaum