ROUND ONE

BAD JUDGE

VS

GRACEPOINT

View the bracket at http://challonge.com/popfilter

Dear Everyone Involved with Bad Judge,

Shame on you. You’ve managed to produced a show devoid of any redeemable quality whatsoever. Your lead, played by Kate Walsh, is essentially that girl from freshmen year who instead of developing interests and a personality partied too hard, slept with an entire fraternity and dropped out by second semester. Instead of bartending, the only job suitable for this person, you situate her as a judge, the most respectable position in law, and allow that absurdity to be the crux of the show. What were you thinking? What are you, anyway? I’m a bit confused, are you about a workplace sitcom about cheeky female judge or is your focus her life surrounding her job? Pick a direction. Or better yet, stop this thing forever. This show is a train wreck from start to finish. The dialogue is insipid and the story goes nowhere. The script seems like it was written by aliens, in that it has no understanding of what human interactions are like. And the speech! The speech she gives as a keynote speaker at the end is so bad I had to watch it multiple times to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. I assume you were stoned when you wrote and/or filmed it so you remember it as being brilliant, it so here it is verbatim:

The exhilarating and terrifying truth is that nothing adequately prepares you for what it feels to uphold the law. Is there a chance that you will be swallowed whole by your job? Yes. Absolutely. Before you know it you will be using the nearest teaspoon as your makeup mirror or to adjust the knot in your tie. And it will freak you, by the way, because no one ever tells you that you appear upside down in a spoon. But you do. And its an excellent reminder because the very spirit of the law is about making things right side up, and doing whatever you can to keep it that way.

*Applause *

If anyone can tell me what the hell that means I will eat my shoe. I saw a baby vomit all over his mother today and I found that a harder hitting and more compelling story than anything going on in this disaster of a pilot.

You went against Gracepoint in this bracket. Gracepoint could have been two stars worse than it was and still beaten you. Have you seen it? It stars a Breaking Bad’s Anna Gunn and Dr. Who’s David Tennant. The pilot is the first of a 10-part series that delves into the mysteries surrounding a boy’s death in a sleepy suburban town. The pilot does an adequate job of setting up its universe and introducing its characters (though some scenes linger uncomfortably long.) It shows a spark of promise, which is more than I can say for you.

The truth is that you never had the dream of a prayer of a chance against any of the new fall shows. You are the worst thus far. Pity you, I do.

Devoted TV Fan,

Stephanie Rose

NEXT: SURVIVORS REMORSE VS MULANEY