THE

STREAM TEAM

In which we begin our journey to conquer everything Netflix has to offer

.

NEW SHIT!

Feb 10 – 16

THE CROODS

The single greatest movie in history makes its debut on Netflix streaming. Boasting an Academy Award nomination, a future PopFilter Hall of Fame plaque, the stunning voice work of Ryan Reynolds, artistically filmed demonstrations of anal sex, proof of who killed JFK, a director’s commentary featuring Nic Cage and J.D. Salinger, specific directions on how to magically turn sand into gold, and a twist ending you won’t believe, The Croods stands alone on the list of the greatest achievements in the history of mankind. Watch this movie in the next 7 days, or you will be murdered. Socially. By tastemakers and watercooler denizens. #Croods4Life #UpsideDownCroods4LifeChestTattoo

0

HOUSE OF CARDS SEASON 2

(Feb 14)

The show that made Netflix into the star it is today is back for a second, and most likely penultimate, season. Will this be as popular as the first season? We will never know, as Netflix refuses to let anyone know how many people watch their shit. It’s not a big deal, as the only reasons ratings exist is so networks know how much they can charge advertisers, of which Netflix has none. Still, it would be nice to know if the amount of people watching House of Cards more closely resembles The Walking Dead, or some bullshit I’ve barely heard of, like Burn Notice. 

 0

BURN NOTICE SEASON 7

(Feb 15)

Season 7!?! 7!?! How is Burn Notice on season 7?!? I guess we can place Burn Notice along side such classics as Wings and JAG as shows that no one ever talks about, but somehow stay on the air for the better part of a decade. This is the one with Bruce Campbell, right? I guess that’s something. I don’t know how it’s possible, as I’m responsible for getting all of the TV pilots reviewed here at the website, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a single second of USA show. No Monk. No Psych. No Burn Notice. But, now that Burn Notice‘s seventh season has been released on Netflix Instant, expect that trend to continue.

0

SOMEWHERE

(Feb 16)

Almost every Sofia Coppola movie comes with a certain level of notoriety, probably more than any other female director. Somewhere is the one that stands out as the one that doesn’t stand out. It’s a 2010 film starring Stephen Dorff as an actor who gets a surprise visit from his daughter, played by Elle Fanning. It definitely had its supporters, but most of the people that didn’t like it said it should have been called The Bo Ring, which ultimately made me stay away. But with catching up on 2013 almost over, and 2014 movies not starting for a month or two, this is the perfect time for Somewhere to come out.

 

– Ryan Haley