The Thirst Games

The Daily Show Colbert Report Drinking Game

Let’s face it, as a generation we aren’t the most informed group of people when it comes to current events, unless those events are centered around t.v shows, movies, the music industry or what rapper Kim Kardashian is currently banging.

We love discussing pop culture, we love having opinions and having opinions on other people’s opinions about pop culture (feel free to discuss that in the comment section beneath the article). We know and at the very least care less about the war in Afghanistan, the upcoming election and how wall-street continues to rape the nation.  If we know anything at all, I’d bet dollars to donuts we got it from The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. Now, Comedy central is an unlikely news source. They apparently thought so too, The Daily Show first aired back in 1996 with Craig Kilborn as its host. Most people don’t remember that mostly cause the show was pretty forgettable, all hacky jokes about current events, like a half-hour long Leno monologue. Then Jon Stewart took over as host in 1999, and took the show in a completely different direction, focusing on the political sphere.

It’s not even a more serious show in the strictest definition of the word, there are still silly jokes, but instead of the joking about how fat Hillary Clinton’s ass is getting, the jokes are based on social commentary and point out just how ass-backwards our political system is. Some of us really couldn’t get through all eight years of the Bush administration if it weren’t for Stewart. The state of political discourse in this country basically boils down to who is yelling the loudest.  I honestly can’t listen to Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, and Glenn Beck (the unholiest trinity of political commentators) constantly blubbering  about how hard rich white men have it without wanting to throw a bowling ball at my T.V, and I love my T.V. We’re pals. Stewart is part political commentator and part comedian. However when discussing what percentage of each you run into a little contention. It first came up in the now infamous show killing episode of CNN’s Crossfire with that wiener Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala on which Stewart was a guest. It probably didn’t go as either host planned when Stewart refused to be funny and begged the two hosts to stop, “What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery. You have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.” Seriously, go youtube it right now if you have never seen it, it’s one of the most satisfying and brilliant pieces of television I have ever seen.

But ever since then, Stewart has backed himself into kind of a corner. He can’t come right out and call his show “real news” even though it’s probably the main news source for an entire generation. He has to operate under the guise that he is a comedian telling jokes, and he isn’t in the same category as people like Grechen Carlson or even a real news guy like Brain Williams to avoid from being a called a hypocrite, to keep the show’s intent honest and to hold political discourse to a certain standard. We need him calling out Fox and Friends for their bullshit, which means he needs to be immune from the media trying to call him out on his. But, whether or not you think he is a comedian or a journalist, his 13 year tenure on The Daily Show with John Stewart solidify his role as the voice of a generation.  Which is only arguable to the degree that he might share that title with one Mr. Steven Colbert, who was a pundit on TDS until he left to do his own show in 2005.

The Colbert report is a very different animal than The Daily Show. Jon Stewart tends to wear his heart on his sleeve, you know exactly what he thinks about the Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme because he tells you. Colbert is a caricature who’s actual political views are not always clear. It is far more satirical, holding a mirror up to society and the media. There is a clear difference between Steven Colbert of the Colbert Report and Stephen Colbert husband and father from South Carolina.  He reportedly doesn’t allow his children to watch his show because he doesn’t want them be become confused about who he really is, and explains to them that he is “professionally silly.” If you don’t watch these shows, watch these god damn shows. I can’t recommend them highly enough, and I’ve even come up with a few drinking rules as incentive, but be warned, you may get shitfaced, you will get drunk.

 

Take a sip of your drink when:

The words “Obama,” “election,” or “Fox News” are mentioned

There is a news montage

The title of a segment is a pun

Jon touches, scribbles on, or picks up his cards

 

Take a shot when:

A congress person is a guest, if it’s a senator, shot + sip

The news montage is exclusively of Fox News

Stephen says, “Nation”

Stephen blinks repeated before reacting to something a guest says

A middle eastern country is mentioned

 

Finish your Drink When:

Either Jon or Stephen make a guest appearance on the other’s show

Your moment of zen