Sidekicks Who Steal the Show

To be clear, these aren’t necessarily the best sidekicks of all time…though that would be a good list…OK that’s definitely coming up at a later point. But THIS list is for the sidekicks that are arguably better than the hero or protagonist, the ones who totally steal the show.  These are the characters you wish would have more lines or maybe even a spin off because they’re just so much more interesting, compelling, hilarious or whatever than the main guy we’re supposed to care about.

 

Short Round – Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Children of the 80’s lost their little minds when their favorite swashbuckling professor showed up in the second installment with a smart mouthed kid in tow.  Everyone knows on all adventuring teams need a little kid to squeeze through tight spaces and make hilarious quips. While Indy is busy making eyes at the screech owl in the blonde wig and turning into a zombie, Short Round basically just spends the whole movie kicking ass and saving the day.  He single handedly escapes from his super evil slavery prison (in like a tenth of the time it took Batman BTW) and heads back into the center of the evil cult  like a boss to snap Indy out of his trance right before Willie takes the lava dip. I mean he’s a kid who grew up driving a cab in Shanghai, he’s got street cred for days and an adorable accent that won’t quit. I for one think Lucas and Co. owe us the Short Round Saturday morning  cartoon.   “Hey Dr. Jones, no time for love! We’ve got company.”

 

Garth Algar — Wayne’s World

It may be Wayne’s world but it’s totally Garth’s movie. Just look at the facts; he drives the Mirth Mobile, he’s the genius behind Baberham Lincoln, and he finally got his pubes this year! Plus he can do a really bitching dance to “Foxy”…at least he can in his head and that’ll probably translate into a real life skill. Garth sometimes gets overexcited and needs to take his Ritalin but that’s the sign of genius not cowardice, the dude can really wail on the drums. It takes a real man to be comfortable enough with his sexuality to admit to getting aroused when Bugs Bunny dons Drag. We’re all thinking it but he’s the only one with the balls to say it out loud.

 Jay & Silent Bob — Clerks/Mallrats/Chasing Amy/Dogma/

Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back/Clerks 2

While you can make the argument that Silent Bob is actually the sidekick to Jay, I’m considering the dynamic duo here as one because fuck off it’s my list that’s why. These guys are always around to provide levity and unexpected insight to whatever slacker friend happens to be whining at the moment in Smith’s Universe of stoners with a monopoly on angst. With Jay’s provocative rhymes and stories and Silent Bob’s steady serene presence they seem almost as spiritual prophets for the modern age, ministering wisdom to the cynical Generation X. They shed the light on what’s really important to friends worried about the little things and act as the literal glue in the New Jersey saga. Also the only sidekicks on this list to actually get their own movie, officially making “snootchie bootchies” the most popular catchphrase ever.

 

Walter Sobchak — The Big Lebowski

“Better” is a relative term in this case. Had The Dude not allowed the hair-trigger rageaholic Walter to tag along and completely fuck everything up maybe poor Donnie would have lived and who knows how things would have turned out? Boring that’s how. Let’s face it, things working out perfectly does not a compelling movie make. And what Walter lacks in common sense and say discretion, he more than makes up for in personality and enthusiasm…traits The Dude doesn’t exactly have in spades. It takes a certain kind of man whose convictions about the rules of the game are so strong he’ll pull a gun to make his point. When Walter barks out “Smokey this is not ‘Nam, this bowling there are rules…MARK IT ZERO!” it’s done with such flair and commitment he makes it seem an almost noble stance rather than the ravings of an asshole.

 Kato — Green Hornet

I don’t think I even need to defend this one. He clearly does all the actual crime fighting while the rich kid gets the cool name and all the credit. Would the Green Hornet even be a thing without Kato? Short answer:  no.

Hermione Granger — Harry Potter

He may be the Boy Who Lived, but Hermione comes out of 7 book s and 8 movies as the very obvious Queen of Magic and Common Sense. Despite her Muggle upbringing she masters everything quicker than her already magic-familiar classmates because she’s basically the smartest person in the world. Smart enough to figure out the big secret of how to stop Voldemort and like save the world forever before he even knew it himself! She’s not at all afraid to use dark magics and questionable actions when she deems it necessary…I mean let’s not forget she kept a person alive in a jar for a year for spreading rumors about her bestie. That kind of shit would have kept Harry up a night for moths but this is the girl who set a teacher on fire when she was 11, she is a stone cold, badass bitch. And that bitch is the power behind the Potter throne.

 Cosmo Brown — Singing in the Rain

It’s the curse of the rom-com to have the most boring male leads.  And let’s be honest here, Singing in the Rain is an Oscar winning classic of a rom-com.  In order for mass audiences of women to actually want to bone the main guy he apparently needs to be stripped of anything other than good looks and a modicum of charisma. All the witty and quirky traits that makes characters interesting but might be a turn off to some gets pushed off to the wacky best friend so he can make clever comments and perform silly plot devices. Cosmo Brown is the king of this niche. Gene Kelly moons and swoons but Brown dazzles with charm and hilarity. He is a slapstick master of the highest degree with a face made of rubber and sarcasm. Donal O’Connor’s iconic number “Make ‘em Laugh” is so enduing that “quirky” “indie” rom-com darling Joseph Gordon Levitt did a pitch perfect rendition as his Saturday Night Live monologue and to explain the bowtie.

 

Sam/Merry/Pip — Lord Of The Rings

Seriously what does Frodo even bring to the table here? If the Hobbits ever got a spinoff (and dear lord what I would pay to see that happen…they could even use “They’re taking the Hobbits to Isengard” as the theme…) he would be the boring one who’s story line we had to suffer through until Merry and Pip showed up and did something funny.  I mean I know he had to carry the entire fate of Middle Earth on his tiny shoulders or whatever, but come on man show us something that resembles a personality. Can you imagine if Sam and the rest didn’t decide to follow Frodo and it was just him and the grim gang trudging along to Mordor? I would rather watch an entire movie about Sam planning out the week’s meals (Po-tay-toes EVERY DAY!) than a LOTR movie where Frodo is the only Hobbit.

 Cameron Frye — Ferris Bueller

 

I read a quote once that said we all grew up wanting to be Ferris but probably ended up being Cameron instead…that either just made you laugh or completely depressed you and there’s your Ferris or Cameron litmus test. Ferris may be charming and confident and everything we wished we were, but there’s not one person who doesn’t identify with Cameron’s struggle. And thus we love him, because we are him.

 

Duckie  – Pretty in Pink

He’s #1 here because Duckie was the entire inspiration for this list. As a best friend and sidekick he’s got it all: style, sass, and an eternally burning love for one Andie Walsh who completely does not deserve him. His brilliant rendition of Otis Redding’s “Try a Little Tenderness” is the second best part of the whole movie, and that’s only second to his freaking dope shoes. Why wasn’t it just the Duckie movie?? Other than an amazingly mohawked Annie Potts, everyone else in this flick is a total asshole…which was the whole point of the movie when John Hughes wrote it! It was supposed to end with Andie realizing how douchey her rich kid crush was for succumbing to peer pressure and dumping her ass just because his smarmy friend told him to. And that John Cryer was the absolute cutest he was ever going to be and had been there for her the whole time and they’d kiss and yay happy ending. But little Miss Molly Ringwold didn’t want her character to end up with the geek and had Hughes change it forever cementing the survival-of-the-fittest social structure of 80’s teenagers. Duckie didn’t deserve that and neither did America. – AS