RH: Hey, Mike. What do you want to talk about?MG: Oh I don’t know- whatever the kids are into these days… pogs?

RH: I have an idea. Let’s figure out what other people are talking about, and then talk about that. That way, we’ll both look cool. Well, I’ll look cool. You’ll look like you.

MG: So I’ll look double cool! I’m in. How do we figure out what everyone is talking about? Check out hotbot?

RH: Is that still a thing?

MG: It’s my number one search engine!

RH: Great. How about if I try google instead, just to see what that’s all about. Oh hey, Dennis Rodman is in the news. It looks like he is trouble. He’s going to get 20 days in jail for child support, which is weird, because he seems too old to still be getting child support. I’m glad we can have a talk about Dennis Rodman in this new article that discusses relevant things.

MG: I’m just glad he’s still alive. I assumed he killed himself after Simon Sez tanked. That movie was underrated; the critics didn’t give it the play it deserved. Wait, just 20 days? Who gives a shit about 20 days in jail? Last week I was in jail for 30 days for littering. Celebrities get away with fucking everything. Even celebrities who are only famous for looking goofy and being in terrible movies.MG: Did you hear about Jamie Lynn Sigler of Sopranos fame is dating something called a Cutter Dykstra? I guess it’s a slow news day when all people are talking about is their tweets being all a-twitter with pics of each other and back and forth cutesy messages. I really hope it works out for those two crazy kids…oh wait I have actual shit to care about, like the Walking Dead being over.

RH: Plus Turtle is going to be pissed. This was plastered so blatantly across Twitter that I would just assume it was a publicity stunt, if anybody gave a flying shit about either one of these flying fucks. I wonder if Cutter’s middle name is Damnnearkilledher.RH: The third “fine ass bitch from the 90’s” that people are talking about is Alicia Silverstone, the girl who was responsible for boners 6,500-10,450 when I was a kid. All of that is gone now, and not because she is old as shit. She is old as shit AND feeding her baby like a bird. Guh-ross. I’m going out on a limb and saying this is a publicity stunt too, and her publicist is shit-fucking-bonkers crazy.

MG: I watched the video of her feeding the kid, and I gotta say I would eat the shit out of that chick’s mouth. This is not okay. I’m allowed to feel that way, but this is the kind of behavior that’s going to have the kid grabbing at her tits when he’s ten trying to get some of that sweet Clueless milk. And there’s actually a positive feedback from some people on this, saying they’re going to try this too! Celebrities should not have sway over how common folk treat their children. Especially old, wrinkly, no-longer-hot celebrities.MG: So Fox is changing how it’s marketing the upcoming comedy “Neighborhood Watch” because of that whole Trayvon Martin debacle. Apparently they pulled the teaser where Jonah Hill makes a finger-gun, and took down posters with bullet holes and green goo on them. Do we live in such a PC world that an alien comedy could be seen as offensive in regards to that tragedy? It’s a needless move on Fox’s part, especially since the flick doesn’t come out until summer, and unfortunately all of this will be forgotten by then.

RH: I agree, the racism and ignorance shown in the Trayvon Martin traged…nope, wait…just read what you wrote, you sick fuck. Who gives a shit about another fucking Ben Stiller movie when all of this just went down? I don’t, mostly because the movie looks stupid.RH: I shit you not, a trailer for a trailer came out today. The teaser for Total Recall made its debut, promising a longer trailer this Sunday. I’m not upset that they’re remaking this movie, and I even kind of like Collin Farrell, but this is an outrage the likes of which we haven’t seen all week. We don’t need fucking commercials for fucking commercials.

MG: I really hope that trend continues, so there’s a 10 second clip of some suburban mom pouring liquid detergent promising us a 45 second commercial for Tide in two weeks. It seems the movie machine has finally figured out the idiocy of internet nerds scouring for every piece of information and still shot before a movie comes out. Those people deserve commercials for the next big “leak” that’s really just another commercial. I hope they start having ads in the middle of trailers.MG: Sugarland is blowing up the headlines in the last 24 hours! I had to look up exactly what a Sugarland is, and am now disappointed for wasting my time. They got to perform 2 songs on Dancing with the Stars, which baffles me. What if the band fucks up and the Dancers get docked points because of it? That doesn’t seem fair at all, does it? More importantly, the duo is going in front of a Superior Court to testify about a stage collapsing during a tornado. Finally the law is going to the experts on architecture-Pop Country singer/songwriters.

RH: It’s too bad that they couldn’t have used their tornado superpowers at the Dancing With the Stars taping, that way we could have been rid of that whole group of lousy fucks. I’m just kidding. I’m sure they’re all great. I had never heard of Sugarland either, but apparently they can really bring the house down. The whole audience couldn’t help but raise the roof.RH: Finally, the fourth season of 16 and Pregnant crowned this week. I have no idea what this show could possibly be about, but it’s on MTV, so I can only assume it’s about music and videos and music videos. I’m sure it’s not about 16 year olds who are pregnant, because 16 is below the age of consent, making it 100 percent impossible for them to be knocked the fuck up.

MG: There are a couple things I just don’t understand about this show: The first is the pitch. The people behind it say it’s to convince teens not to get pregnant. But what it’s really showing is you’ll get famous, which is the New American Dream. The second problem I have is that none of these girls are hot. WTF? How do you get pregnant that young being a fuggo? Just doesn’t make sense.  From what I’ve gathered though, they are all the worst and deserve the horrors having a child unleashes upon them.MG: Well this was our first edition of Trend This! and I’m infuriated I now know more about this garbage than I’ve ever wanted to. So see you next week!