How I Met Your Mother Drinking Game

Half of you have already watched every single episode of How I Met Your Mother and swear it on your porno folder that it is the funniest series out there… while the other half believe that this show is shit and can’t possibly be worth a damn’s damn. I don’t really care what you think about the show, sometimes it’s funny- at others… it’s at best: corny. Mostly it has made way for a brand new drinking game we can play together! Thanks to brainstorming with Mr. Lynz Floren, a group game has come to fruition for this site. Maybe the Podcasters will play, maybe they will not [pussies]. Either way, grab 4 or more friends and get ready to be rocked. If you don’t have any friends… this game will certainly make you forget that fact. You might even start talking to the screen at your new found buddies Ted, Robin, Lily, Marshal, and Barney. It might be a good idea to leave the DVD on PLAY ALL and REPEAT… just in case black out you gets upset that your new found friends disappear.

Perhaps the only reason why an amazing individual, such as yourself, would watch How I Met Your Mother falls within three letters: NPH- Neil Patrick Harris… the man is a god, nay… god of gods. You may find him to be familiar in a lab coat- you can thank Dr. Houser and Dr. Horrible for that. He has acted on stage in Rent, Sweeney Todd, and Caberet. He kills aliens in Starship Troopers and is a coke slangin’, mushroom trippin’, complete assface to Harold and Kumar. This man knows no boundaries! He’s undoubtedly the most successful child actor in the world! He’s so great that his sexual orientation doesn’t matter to the American population, he is able to portray an over brazen womanizer in How I Met Your Mother AND be engaged to a man while raising two babies! TAKE THAT AMERICA- he sure did know how to tangle your panties AND confuse your brain!

Don’t like NPH?? OK Middle America, there are two reasons why you will easily forget that NPH has a sexual orientation that makes you weep. Their names are Cobie Smulders and Alyson Hannigan. These are some tough bitches. Not the ghetto kind of tough, but the ‘I’m going to use my lady bits AND my brain to get what I want’- tough. They aren’t the type of characters to cross, double cross, or accidentally steal a booth from. Robin [Cobie] is a gun toting, scotch drinking, suit wearing woMAN and Lily [Alyson] uses kindergarten tactical offense AND defense to manipulate the beejeezees out of everyone. Lily also has a fierce problem with maintaining a 0 balance on her credit card, a very real problem women face in this day and age. Most important fact: they are hot and fun to watch.

Ted is Ted, no one likes Ted. Sure the whole series is centered on the search for his babies mama… but the guy is kind of a douche. Or shall we pronounce it doo-shay?

Last but certainly not least, there is the sweet sweet face of Marshal Erickson, IRL- AKA- the beautiful Jason Segel. He’s what keeps me coming back season after season. Jason was born under Judd Apatows’ Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared [ are those terms are unfamiliar? I know… one day you can be cool… that day could be today…]. More notably this man is a puppeteer. Don’t fucking look at me with those ‘whatever’ eyes… watch Forgetting Sarah Marshal and tell me puppet Dracula sucked, seriously… I dare you. The best part? The Muppets movie coming out this Thanksgiving is something he wrote, produced, and starred in. BOOM. Excitement!

This should make you excited. MUPPETS!!!!

The show works across different platforms to bring your experience with How I Met Your Mother more interactive and fun! Here are just a few sites that can keep you entertained and informed on the happs that go down in the show:

http://www.cbs.com/primetime/how_i_met_your_mother/community/barney_blog/index.php/

http://slapcountdown.org/

http://internationalsuitupday.com/

http://www.barneysvideoresume.com/

http://www.notafathersday.com/

OK so I’m done talking up the cast and awesomeness of the show.

Here is how you get shithoused:

Who is the biggest pansy in your group… the person who can’t possibly drink worth a shit and gets kind of annoying while drinking?? Assign Ted’s rules to that person. He drinks the least out of the lot. Next in line is Robin. Go ahead and give it to the second worst pansy in the group. The Lily/Marshal section is slightly more complicated. One person can take on the couple duties OR it can be given to the designated duo in the group. As a team, the drinks can be assigned as each rule comes up… [who knows, that bitch could be pregnant and the man might have to hunker down for his lady… Go Season 8!]. Last but not least the biggest asshole of the pack, the drinker of drinkers, the Hong Kong Donkey Kong of the group must be assigned to Barney. Make sure that jerk drinks for every rule! Each member has their rules assigned to them below. Also, there are interactive group rules as well.

This game is not tailored towards any specific season, nor is it meant to. Some episodes are obviously centered around certain characters and you may be in trouble for 21 minutes, others will ignore you completely. Either way… sit down and enjoy the funnies while drinking an obscene amount.

How I Met Your Mother Drinking Game:

Take a Drink when Ted:

1. Corrects someone in their facts or speech
2. Goes on an elaborate speech
3. Complains about not finding the ‘one’
4. Talks about anything architecture related

Take a Drink when Robin:

1. Slips into a Canadian accent
2. Has her gun on her
3. Reports on something stupid
4. Says “Literally” (Drink x2 if it is not a literal statement)

Take a Drink when Lily and/or Marshal:

1. Lily schemes in order to get her way
2. Lily makes aggressive sexual remarks
3. Lily tells a secret
4. Marshal shows his feministic/sub tendencies
5. Marshal talks about the environment
6. Marshal uses the term “Lawyered” / “Lawyer Up”
7. Marshal and Lily use the terms Marshmallow and Lilypad
8. Marshal or Lily have a “you’re dead to me moment” [finish your drink]

Take a Drink when Barney:

1. Plays laser tag [+1 for each person who he convinces to come out with him]
2. Has an elaborate plan to sleep with someone
3. Does a magic trick
4. Isn’t wearing a suit
5. Says he is a Best Friend
6. “Challenge Accepted”
7. “What’s Up?”
8. “Legendary”
9. “Suit Up”
10. “Dibs”

Group Drinks:

1. Did your character just make a pun? Take a drink. [yes, take a drink for EACH pun made].
2. Did your character just get slapped? You take a drink.
   1. Did you give that slap? Take three drinks… for being a boss.
   2. It’s completely ok to really slap your friends, just make sure you have a slap bet commissioner on hand [stare at ‘lily’… now]
3. The crew busts out in song
   1. Did you just hear the word Bang? You can take a sip every time that happens. Seriously.
4. Did your characters just high five? Take a drink!
5. When a cameo appearance actually makes you laugh
6. Sandwiches are being eaten

 

Ok loves enjoy this game… play it every night and watch/rewatch the whole series… and enjoy the wonderful world of alcoholism. Yay!