Being John Malkovich Drinking Game

Well shit, here we are again… yet another Friday morning and another drinking game made. Generally I get to choose a movie/television show that is of ridiculous amounts of interest to me… then carefully craft a magnificent game for your drinking pleasure. This week, the boys over in Podcast land decided to have a Being John Malkovich centric show. Being such a well knit and fine tuned group of esteemed colleagues, I was appointed the duty of getting them trashed whilst playing.

 

Any email that floats through my inbox with the word Synergy as the title is bound to have a profound impact on the work I put forth; and because of this, the game turned special. The game is so special I watched the movie two times in order to ensure a proper amount of drinking was to take place. It was mainly to make sure those shitheads would end up tanked by the end of the night; obliterated were my actual hopes. There was no follow up email to how the event actually went, so I’ll just assume they are dead. Hopefully we will be able to hear their demise in Podcast form in the post later today! I’m sure they have a special set up so even if the hosts don’t survive another member of the team would be there to retrieve and upload their results… then assist with clearing the bodies. Maybe.

 

The most surprising and upsetting part of this movie is the reminder that Cameron Diaz once had potential. The shit she has put out recently [ei Bad Teacher, What Happens in Vegas, Charlies Angels, Knight and Day] vs the shit she put out before Being John Malcovich [There’s Something About Mary, The Mask, My Best Friends Wedding] is remarkable! It seemed like she was bound for greatness! This role would finally get her out of the hot girl stereotype and plunge her into using her acting abilities [which don’t suck- at all- in this movie!]. Instead, it put her on a path towards bigger movies that only focus on her looks! I really enjoyed the fact that this movie portrayed her as a fluffy old wife that held a lot of relatable quirks. The only likeable character she has played post Malkovich is Fiona in Shrek. I only like her in those movies because I don’t have to see her. So, I guess the real problem is her face. Her voice acting is pretty great and makes me laugh, her drama acting is right to. Alright Cameron Diaz- I know you make millions of dollars per movie, but let us at PopFilter help you- quit your shitty shit and get back to doing good shit. Shit. John Cusak doesn’t deserve to get put on as much blast as Cameron Daiz, but that boy is slowly going down that same pathway. On a complete separate note, I would like to thank John Malkovich for kicking ass and only putting out good shit. Seriously. IMDB this beautiful man. His acting skills aren’t thrown into some high grossing bullshit of American theater. He actually thinks about his roles… and by god… claps, applauds and yaaaayyyys all around! Also, Catherine Keener gets a huge thumbs up as well!

 

So I don’t really care to review the movie nor do I really want to comment on any of the content involved. It is a movie best served in the dark with no idea what is going to be thrown in your face. Just be ready for some massive amounts of throwing into faces. Spike Jonze and Charlie Kaufman know how to do their jobs right.

The proudest of proud rule in the list is to drink twice every time a cameo appearance is made. There are a few great cameos, but the loop hole in the rules to getting outrageously drunk is to drink twice any time John Malkovich is on the screen. If you have seen the movie you probably just spat all over the monitor in complete uprising [fist held high ready to slap the computer silly]. Megan did NOT get suggest that much drinking… but oh yes, yes I did. It is a challenge I bestow only upon my most skilled drinkers. The lords and goddesses of Beer Mountain: you shall proceed with caution.

1. A minstrel puppet is on screen
2. An animal is talked to
3. The elevator dings
4. Maxine insults Craig
5. Lotte nags Craig
6. Craig uses his quick fingers
7. Drink twice when you see a cameo appearance
8. Drink three times when someone cross dresses
9. Any time someone gets spat out of Johns mind
10. Any time someone walks into Johns mind: name a movie John Malkovich has been in… you can then call on someone to say another actor in that movie. If they are capable, you take a drink; if they are not; they drink.