Hidden Gems: The Curious Happening About George Warrior

This being a notoriously busy weekend for everybody, I thought I’d give you something easily accessible and easily digestible for this installment.  So here, Hidden Gems presents its first webseries entry: The Curious Happenings About George Warrior.

 

What is it?: Just like the Shang Tsung’s army of possessed fighters, George Warrior is not controlling himself bro.  As I’m sure you all know, when you get a picture of a luchador with his mask off, you can control him to do whatever you want.  So when high class business thug Jason Makiaris gets a picture of a maskless George he does what every evil genius would do:  send him into a murderous rage whenever he sees a pencil.  This epic tale of luchador vengeance is told via a youtube web series split into 8 episodes currently.  We follow George through his adventure as he violently kills people, meets a lady, kidnaps some kittens and even meets his future self.  It’s pretty fucking glorious.

 

Why is it a “Hidden” Gem?: It’s a hidden gem because it’s on the internet and even somebody with nothing better to do than surf the net like me didn’t hear about it until I went to a film festival with George Warrior as the MC where he played an episode before each feature.  That’s what I call hidden.

Why is it Worth Your Time?: 

Alright so I used to be a huge wrestling fan.  I watched it every week and scoured the internet checking out the independent scene as well as watching all the WWE programming pretty much up until I was 17 or so.  I even still check the news from time to time just to see what my old favorites are up to (Seriously dude CM Punk and Brian Danielsen, two little indie guys I worshipped as a 15 year old are WWE champions?).  This is probably why I immediately felt drawn to George Warrior as it completely embodies the silly ridiculousness that I loved as a wrestling fan, and there aren’t even any “serious” title matches to get in the way.

It also completely satisfies my love of ridiculous shit.  George Warrior is possibly the stupidest action hero ever and it’s played up in every episode in a variety of ways.  We get some subtle grammar fuck ups, which I’m a huge fan of, such as “I have some questions I want to tell you.”  Then we get some glorious moments later, like when George accidentally uses an important item at the wrong time and just sits there going “Oh man, I guess I should have saved that for later.”  Back to the wrestling focus, the dude is also wearing the very recognizable Rey Mysterio mask.  For those who don’t know, Rey Mysterio is probably the most popular Mexican wrestler to perform in the United States.  He’s known for his agility and high flying moves.  George on the other hand is a huge hairless dude who bodyslams people and clobbers them with chairs.  In other words he’s most people’s idea of a typical dumb wrestler.  The contrast there makes me laugh every time.

His hilariously stupid delivery also rears its head in his interactions with his girlfriend Sona.  I fucking died laughing late in the series when he refuses to give her his last mint because he’s probable going to eat an onion for dinner.  Later, when she leaves hurt he realizes the error of his ways when he kidnaps two cats.  He names them George and Sona and then yells at George for not sharing his French fries with Sona.  This is followed up in the next episode when he asks for a hug just so he can squeeze her boobs.  Comic genius I tell you.

The storyline, from what you could gather from the above synopsis is hilariously awesome.  Every time George sees a pencil he screams “Oh no!  I’m not controlling myself bro!” and proceeds to kill somebody he planned on showing mercy to.   These kills range from throwing a car on top of somebody, throwing a disembodied arm at somebody’s throat to choke them, and sprouting a scorpion tail which stings one of his attackers while he spews acid at another one.  It’s fucking amazing that they manage to use the device so many times but always manage to find a new variation on it, keeping it fresh and funny throughout the series’ duration.

But let’s get to the thing I really love about this series.  These guys were clearly operating on a budget and instead of trying to hide it they call attention to it in the best way possible.  Whenever any production value adding thing is needed such as a motorcycle or George’s aforementioned scorpion tail, it’s animated in in the most extremely crude way possible.  When George and Sona are scuba diving for example, they’re clearly just walking but somebody has used after effects to put cartoon water in front of them.  The same when he gets in a motorcycle chase, which entails the biker dudes chasing him as all of them are just walking with their legs spread and a shitty cartoon motorcycle is animated in underneath them.  It’s an incredibly effective comedic device and I’m surprised more web series haven’t utilized it.

Anyway, I want to keep this short since I know you have shit to do this weekend.  If some great laughs in easily digestible 5 minute increments sound up your alley you owe it to yourself to check this series out.  The first episode is embedded below.  Enjoy.  -ASW