Reality Bites: Top Gear vs. Top Gear

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nothing is more maddening than telling a friend about a new TV show you’re into and having them smugly say “oh yea I’ve been watching the British version for years…its way better.” And nothing brings me more pleasure than being that smug douche.  So when I heard that the History channel was filming its own version of the 34 year old British monolith that is Top Gear, I was sure we were in for a world of crap. Never mind that spinoffs have already been launched in Australia and Russia without dire consequence, obviously Americans would fuck it up like we always do when trying to dumb down British entertainment for the unwashed masses.

Lucky for me the new seasons of both the British and American Top Gear are currently airing new episodes for ease of comparison.  I have several years of casual viewership of Top Gear on BBC America. It’s always been one of those shows I begrudgingly allow my husband to put on and end up enjoying it way more than I expect.  It’s a show about cars which normally would have me banging my head against the wall in boredom, but done in such an entertaining and charmingly foreign way it doesn’t really matter what they’re talking about. The crux of the show’s appeal lies in the relationships and interactions between the three hosts, Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May. Three journalists who for all I know might be major celebrities in the UK in that adorable British way where they’re in The Daily Mirror everyday but nobody in America has ever heard of them so it doesn’t really count…like Peaches, or Ricky Gervais. The funny way they pronounce aluminum and call exhaust pipes “poo chutes” are worth 20 minutes of giggling alone. They’re fierce competitive streak and gleeful exuberance at one another’s failures as they compete in challenges keeps the boring details about engines and fuel efficiency from bogging it down for the viewers who aren’t gear heads. Or petrol heads as the limeys says.  Past challenges have included racing a car, a boat and the public transportation system and painting inflammatory sayings on one another’s car on a road trip through the deep south in attempt to incite a riot. Its irreverent bits like these that lead actor Steve Coogan to publically criticize Clarkson, Hammond and May for lazy, adolescent humor and casual racism. And that’s coming from the man who sang “Rock Me Sexy Jesus” on the big screen.

Americans require more oomph in our television hosts than just being able to talk good about stuff. So in addition to racing expert Rutledge Wood costars include professional racecar driver Tanner Foust and comedian Adam Ferrara, which unfortunately sounds a lot like Adam Carolla but falls disappointingly short.  Same exact format as the motherland’s original: three dudes talk about cars and compete in car themed challenges. The personalities, which are the strength and lifeblood of the British version is where the Americans fall flat. It may be because the hosts haven’t been acquainted for 9 years like their predecessors, but their banter and pranks have all the lackluster spirit of Rebecca Black. The jokes are lame and the camaraderie and shit talking feels really forced like they’re all just trying too hard to have fun.  Wood and Foust fluctuate between being boring and being slightly amusing but with some comedic timing issues that could feasibly be fleshed out in a year. Ferrera excels at his dumb, loud, New Yorker bit which is clearly supposed to detract from his comparatively inferior knowledge and isn’t any funnier than it was on King of Queens.

 

The meat of both shows is of course the cars. Features are either reviews of new cars and best-of models or challenges in vehicles old, cheap, crazily-modified or somehow made uncomfortable.  This week found the American team battling over which 4 x 4 reigns supreme in a race through the Mojave Desert to Las Vegas. Each was tasked with buying an eligible off-roader for under $5k and making their way over 350 miles of rocky terrain and sand dunes- some without air conditioning. It was actually a much more interestingly premised episode than this week’s British counterpart who featured reviews of two fancy cars and celebrity interview Alice Cooper. Not a bad show, Alice Cooper was a particularly fascinating guest and so articulate and intelligent I got the urge to watch Wayne’s World. But I get a little lost when in the expiations of why one “super car” is better than the Class 9 SE but the TARDIS F5 has superior suspension even if it isn’t as fast as the  Dragon Slayer E Series…it’s all just stream of consciousness babble to me. And yes I am aware those are not actual car names but wouldn’t the world be a better place if you could drive the Dragon Slayer? I’m sure there are plenty of hardcore car folks who prefer the nitty gritty details to the fluff and it’s a clever show that can keep both groups of viewers entertained. I’m not sure if Americans are there yet, weirdly they lack both refinement and edge needed to raise them above the broad and safe level of humor they’re currently banking on. I don’t doubt Top Gear will be around for many years to come on the BBC but the Americans need to find their groove quickly or risk the same fate as Coupling.

Hey readers! Do you have any suggestions for reality shows to watch and review? Is there a great or awful show I probably won’t find on my own because it’s not on BBC, TLC or IFC? Leave a comment or email me at [email protected] and I’ll check it out, variety is the spice of life blah blah blah. I’m putting my TV watching enjoyment in your hands here people! – AS